I am living my life like it's shot from a gun. Jason Aldean knows what he's singing about in his song "On My Highway." I feel like the yellow lines on my highway fade from time to time. Right now, going straight is really difficult. I feel like if life was a car, I'd be a really sleepy driver behind the wheel, constantly nodding my head, trying to stay alert. I'm kind of struggling. My head is so full of ideas and thoughts and experiences that I have and haven't had and words and letters I want to write and conversations I need to have and papers I need to write and songs I want to sing and poems I want to write and work that I need done and runs I haven't run but need to so badly. My mind is a jigsaw puzzle that just got knocked off the dining room table, and now I'm all jumbled and it feels like I'm the kindergartner sitting crisscross applesauce on the floor trying to put it all back together. Haha, that's actually exactly how I feel. But ya want to hear a cool story? Okay here goes:
So yesterday I went to the bank to make some deposits. Keep in mind what I just said before about feeling like a compromised mess for so many unknown reasons. I walked into the doors at PNC and this little South American lady was at the desk to greet me. The first thing she said was "My goodness, aren't you lovely." It took me a little off guard but I thanked her a lot. We kept talking as she was doing my paperwork and I told her that I was from Indiana and that living in DC was so much different from home because it's so full of soo many different kinds of people, etc. She asked me where I went to school and what I was studying. I told her that I went to Marymount and I'm studying nursing. She kind of stopped what she was doing for a second and looked at me and said "you know... I could kind of tell. Right when you walked in, I saw it in your lovely face and in your eyes that you love to help people. It's such a gift, that's so good. You know, when you're sick, and you wake up and see a face like yours, you know you're going to be okay." I was kind of shocked, but in a good way. I said something like "oh my gosh, thank you so much! That's so encouraging, I really appreciate you saying that!" Then she went on to say this, which is my main lkjabkfdnskWOW part of the story. She said, "Mary, don't let this area change you. It tends to change people, but don't you let it change you. You're here for so much good, never lose sight of who you are, never forget yourself because you have so much to give as yourself." WHAT? Okay, this is my BANK TELLER, not a priest, not a best friend, not a counselor, she's my bank teller! I can't even tell you how amazed and grateful beyond belief I was. After thanking her and hugging her, I walked out of the bank with misty eyes. I am here for so much good. To let myself change, to let myself be negatively affected by where I am would be an incredible loss for so many reasons. I am blessed with this life, this crazy, wild, tie-dye of opportunities to breathe, create, help and serve, learn and grow, and BECOME more myself. What a gift we're given. What a sadness to lose sight of it. I am here to be challenged. This life is not supposed to be easy. We are meant to question ourselves because it makes us stronger in our convictions to be who we are called to be. Who else am I other than Mary Christeta, a nineteen year old freshmen nursing major at Marymount University from South Bend Indiana who spent 18 years of her life becoming who I am called to be to other people. MYSELF. No one else. Thank you bank teller lady for, in the ten minutes it took to make my deposit, completely blowing my mind with the simplicity of your message-- I can't let being here change who I am because I am here to be myself, grow as myself, and become a better me.
This is random, but I was on the phone with my mom outside the library, and I kept hearing this terrifying yelling sound, and I thought it was just some girls goofing around, but when I got off the phone, this girl walking to the library stopped me as i was walking and pointed to my left. I looked over and there was a fox. But not just any fox. A scary, rabid fox making scary rabid noises, and its scary rabid self was stumbling towards me. I ran into the library and warned people about it. Hahahah that was my adventure for the day. Ah...
I have homework that I'm putting off. I'm still not completely myself today, but I'm trying.
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