Merry Cookies

I got to wake up bright and early this freezing Saturday morning and work at the annual Trinity School Christmas Bazaar Cookie Walk. Every family who has children attending Trinity needs to make 7 dozen cookies per child attending. My poor mother had to slave over 28 dozen cookies. Ridiculous. Anyway, I never fully realized how much people really like cookies... I mean, they were legitimately frantic over getting the kinds of cookies they wanted. Old ladies were shuffling down the cookie line with an unnatural, flustered intensity as they were determined to get the best cookies before the others in the line got to them. It was hardcore entertaining for me. My job was to replenish the half- empty trays of cookies and keep them filled with the hundreds of varieties of cookies. The cookie walk began at 9 in the morning, and all the cookies were gone by 10:15. Before the walk started, the line for it was out the door of the building. That is pathetic, people. Forreal, it's weird that you're so desperate to get your clammy hands on holiday themed cookies. This is why America harbors the world's biggest population of obese people. It's unfortunate that Trinity School's fundraiser contributes to that statistic, but at least we're getting money to pipe heat through our school's ancient radiators. Honestly, every time the heat turns on in our school, it sounds like the building is finally ready to collapse, or at the very least, an army of very small people is tromping through the walls, ceilings, and pipes. Every time the heat begins to turn on, there never fails to be a muffled whisper of "they're coming for us!" from someone in the classroom.
In other news, I'm excited to watch the Florida v. Alabama game today... although, I have yet to decide who I want to root for. I'm going to watch it with a hardcore bama fan, and I'm tempted to root for Florida just to be contrary. I may get ostracized though, haha.

Gosh, I really have eaten a lot of cookies today. We got to take home a large bag of broken cookies, and it's sitting right next to me practically ASKING me to eat them. It's tough, really. I think I'll go on a run later...
I hope it snows more today! It snowed some this morning and it was very pretty, and actually began to stick, but then the sun came out and it stopped. In my opinion, if it's going to be under thirty degrees, it may as well be snowing, because cold weather is miserable, and if it's not even snowing, then it's completely pointless.
Well, I'm off to continue being lazy, feel bad about myself for being so lazy, and then probably end up having another cookie to cope with my self pity, and then feel even fatter.
Sweeeet.

Painfully Ordinary

So today, I basically felt mentally impaired. i don't know what it was, but there was some kind of wall between my hearing something, comprehending, and responding. Example from Spanish class- Teacher:"Mary will you read the next example?" Me:"Do the next example?" Teacher:"Yes, read it in Spanish please." Me:"Wait, where are we? I'm sorry I was writing something down, I don't know where we are." Teacher: "The last sentence on the page." Me:"Wait, but I thought I was supposed to do all of the examples?"
....Yep.
That is pretty much the story of how my entire day went. I was acting and feeling completely dysfunctional and stupid. Why?! I blame it on schoolwork. Namely MATLAB. If you don't know what matlab is, don't even worry about it, just know that it is the spawn of Satan and it will kick you in the butt. I just spent like 3 hours working on a linear algebra project that we had to do with matlab.... it was truly a walk in the park, a joyride, a real JOY. You should try it sometime.

My neighborhood is all lit up with Christmas lights and its really fun to run in. I normally get sick of running in my neighborhood because it feels small, but now it's fun because I can look at all the lights when I run by :) The only downer is that there are tons of cars b/c people tour the streets to look at the lights. It also legit snowed for the first time today! Even though I'm not a big fan of winter, it still kinda gave me warm fuzzies when snowflakes were clustering in my hair and making little piles on the sidewalks.

Quote of the day: "Pain of Discipline, Pain of Regret - pick one".

Remember to wear red to support our troops tomorrow!!!

What a Wonderful World

Fun dress

The whole family :)

Me and my gorgeous sisters

Me and my cousin Emily

Me and my cousin Gracie

Candid.

my crazy hair with the pool in the background. I LOVE the colours.

Decided

This is basically how I feel right now. Despite my oncoming cold, stomach ache and homework looming over my head, I have made the decision to be a sunny person for the remainder of school until Christmas break. 3 weeks is a long time to remain positive but I think I can do it... maybe possibly.
Today's reasons to keep smiling:
1) I have fantastic, amazing, wonderful friends who are hilarious and keep me sane
2) My family is awesome
3)Tomorrow is hump day which means it's almost thursday, which means its basically friday which is practically the weekend.
4) I only have one more scholarship application until I'm DONE.
5) I'm alive.
6) I went running today
7) I am alive.
8) I am loved.
9) I understand physics! [big deal, people]
10) .... wild card. I can't think of anything else right now.

This may not turn out so hot, but I'm trying right? I at least get some points for that.

[I'm definitely putting off a large amount of homework right now]
I am sucha happy kid because it was BEAUTIFULLY sunny today. I felt like such a little kid, but during lunch today i just sat on the sidewalk criss-cross applesauce and soaked up the sun. [well... as much as I could with a hoodie and pants on haha] Nevertheless, it was fabulous :)

Quote of the day:
"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." - Abraham Lincoln
[Let's hope he's right.]

Send To Phone

Bliss

So for Thanksgiving, my family and I traveled to Jacksonville, Florida to be with my dad's side of th family. I twas an 18 hour car trip there but it was TOTALLY worth it. The first day we were there consisted of hanging iut by the hotel pool, surrounded by beautiful palm trees and crystal blue skies. It was amazing. My grandpa was turning 80 and so he had a huge party at his ritzy country club, at which he bought us all [the whole extended family] a beautifully delicious dinner. I have never eaten so well as I did on that trip. Coincidentally, I'm pretty sure I gained some love handles, but hey, that's what running is for :)
I'm pretty exhausted because I got back in town at 3:00am and I went to school today. YUCK. It wasn't fun. On the other hand, Christmas break is t-minus 3 weeks away and I CAN'T WAIT! It will be so fantastic.
I have to do homework now, as awful as that sounds. Hooray for Locke's Treatise on Government! NOT. I thought I was done reading Treatises [sp? haha] after I read Aquinas. I guess not. Oh well, reading makes you smarter :)
PS, I got accepted to IUPUI and Belarmine gave me a good scholarship!! Now everyone just needs to pray that I get the full ride that I applied for! I would DIE of happiness, that would be so wonderful. Oh I hope I hope I hope.
Tip your waitresses, they are under appreciated.

It's a wonderful night for a moondance

The Ballroom Dance was on Saturday night, and here I am with some of the lovely sophomore girls and my brother John who forgot how to smile. Nice one, Johnjy.

I'm feeling very accomplished today because I finished my million year-long scholarship last night and I'm turning it in tomorrow! Thank goodness it will be over. I don't even want to go to the school that the scholarship is for, but if they pay me to go there, I will definitely suck it up. I have nooooo money. I got accepted to IU today which is pretty spiffy :) As of now, my list of potential future school are Bellarmine, Xavier, and IU. Pretty much my top three choices anyway so yay!
T-minus 26 hours until I leave for Florida!! I am beyond ecstatic about this... one more school day to go. Meanwhile, I have a physics project to complete and a spanish test to study for and maybe a another scholarship essay if I'm feeling so inclined. I will probably definitely NOT be feeling so inclined.
Tom and John are coming over tonight and we're grilling and eating a lot of MEAT. I am so excited!! I love those boys. Funny story.. I was at starbucks the other night writing essayd when I hear whispered in my ear "Oh hey baby hows it goin??" I was about to turn around and scold the stranger who called me baby, but I turned around and it was Tom. Haha gotta love it. then John snuck up on me from the other direction. silly boys...
I really should go on a run... I'm thinking if I'm lucky, I might motivate myself to go like 2 miles... I'm feeling extra lazy today even though i know I'll regret not running when I'm stuck in the car for 17 hours and then spend the next day eating. a lot. of AMAZING. Thanksgiving food. I CANT WAIT.
Alright, well, off to try and motivate myself. Hooray for last night of homework!!

This has been quite possibly the slowest week of my life. I have a huge scholarship application due and I still need to write an essay and a half, write a better draft of my resume, and get my recommendation letters all in one place. UGH. I cannot wait until this semester is over!!!
On the other hand, by this time next week, I will be in FLORIDA. I am so excited to get out of South Bend!! The weather is legitimately depressing and sorts makes me wanna crawl into my bed and die for the next three months and come out when the sunshine returns. That would be okay with me. Alright... back to essay writing and trying to stay off of facebook, or anything else that sounds like more fun than writing about my career/professional goals. yuckk.
Hope it's sunny where you are because it sure isn't here.

still

Send To Phone

Send To Phone

Send To Phone

Help.

So I'm definitely procrastinating because I have a monster of a Spanish test tomorrow [which I have yet to start studying for] and an in-class essay [which for those of who who dont know is a terrific test of how far you can stretch your brain to improv on a 5 page paper that you are allotted less than two hours to write. It doesn't help that it's on Aquinas' Treatise on Law. fun] Needless to say, blogging felt like a more pressing matter :)
I got my first college acceptance letter yesterday, which is a big deal, so i hope you all are clapping for me. It is to Bellarmine University in Louisville Kentucky, and I would just about give an arm to go there. I hope they give me moneyy!!
I also went to the Notre Dame vs. Navy game yesterday.... HAH. What a joke. Nvay is quite amazing though, and I don't mind that we [ND] lost to them. I got to see an amazing flyover, which made my life and I got to go to a party and hang out with some Navy midshipmen who insisted on me wearing their jackets because it was chilly outside. I didnt mind one bit. All shallowness aside though, I have so much respect for what the Navy, and all branches of the military, do for our country and I hope I can appreciate fully the life I am able to have because of what they sacrifice. I love America. Now back to my essay... yuck.

Well since I haven't updated this in a while and I know you all are really tapping your feet, waiting to read another post... here I go wasting my time again. Soccer season is over, but it was soo much fun. We ended the season with a record of like... 13-5-1. Not too shabby for having lost like 5 seniors from last year. I was named the Most Valuable Player for the team, pretty cool since I'm the golaie, and I made first team all conference for the second year in a row. yay me! I feel somewhat accomplished. I will definitely miss high school soccer...
Last weekend was halloween, and I got to go to Indy to visit friends who I never ever get to see, which was fantastic and I had such a good time. i love all of them :)
This past school week was possibly the longest in my recent memory. I had a physics project that totally blew, but I did pretty well on it. Im kinda excited because this year, Im totally doing better in both physics and calculus than i did last year. What is that? I have no idea. Calc is really fun... but I still miss algebra. oh the good old eighth grade days....
I have to get up early in the morning because someone in my family decided to volunteer me to rake leaves at an old person's house. joyous truly. I can't complain that much because I am getting paid, and i have no money. Hooray for unconventional sources of random income!
I need sleep terribly.
Good night [not]readers.

Ok so i think it's actually very funny that absolutely no one has commented or read this blog. It kind of makes me feel more free to say anything I want... which could be good or bad haha. So last night I didnt stop working on homework and college applications for 7 hours straight. needless to say, today i was exhasuted beyond belief. i had a calculus test and a soccer game too. FUNN. but I think I did very well on my test and we won our soccer game 3-1. woot! It was spectacular. Now Im back home, warm [finally], and about to make some hot chocolate I think. yumm. I have to go do physics problems... tomorrow's friday, yay!

Well today was very productive! I found a ridiculously cute pair of forever 21 skinny jeans at a second hand store for $5. Whoever said second hand stores are lame were wrong! They are an answered prayer for broke people like me. So in addition to finding a spectacular pair of jeans, I got all of my homework done, finalized some college application details, went on a fantastic run, took a shower, made my lunch, and I am in bed at 10:48 pm. I think this may be a record for me... Now watch me not be able to get out of bed tomorrow morning. Oh, it would happen to me. Anyway, Im kind of proud of how successful my day was. Now back to another week of academic hell. Whoever came up with this curriculum clearly did not have to experience it. ulg.

So I took the ACT this morning and I'm so glad it's over! It wasn't to hard, it just took FOREVER! I had like half the science section left when the proctor called time, so for the first time ever, I was one of those kids frantically scrambling to fill in as many random bubbles as I could. It was awesome. I had a soccer game right after that and we owned, it was great. Now Notre Dame is playing Michigan and we're 3 points ahead and im freaking out!! I need notre dame to win! goo team!

I really should be sleeping right now. i'm taking the ACT tomorrow and guess what? I didn't study! I had no clue that ACT online offered practice questions free... great job, Mary. Wow I'm awesome at life sometimes. But oh well, God loves me right? Maybe I'll do better than the crappy SAT scores I have now. Ugh... not looking froward to the alarm going off in the morning. For all of you [actually none of you] who are reading this, I hope one senior in high school knows that I feel their pain-- serious sleep lackage mixed with double the usual amounts of caffeine make a friday at school feel like Ash Wednesday-- cloudy, always depressing, and the longest day ever. Good night world.

a summer night alone.

The air around me is a dusty haze
of purple and blue
And the sky is smeared with the sun's ink
as it is pierced by the sharp horizon
while the oozing sun slides under the water's edge.

Distant whitecaps are barely visible breaking against
the faint glow of a waning dusk.
Knees at my chest I am perched on the beach
as the surf crawls up and flirts with my toes.

Hearing only the gentle pulse of the melodic tide
The world promises to keep my dearest thoughts a secret.
As the darkness cloaks about me and the salt wind kisses my cheek
The stars puncture their dark canvas and offer me a dream.

Charade

Looking for the red in white
Falsity and impropriety concealed
in alabaster innocence.
Like spilled sugar on smooth tables,
the mess eludes itself in sweetness.
Culpability assumes a facade of naiveté
Veracity becomes something pretentious and discarded.
Erratic earth, absurd man
Integrity is obsolete and lost
in florid shades of white.

The Call

I cannot fashion my own sunlight

I cannot grasp the wind with my hands

or hold the finger of my shadow

But light beams carry God,

the sky cradles God, and the trees bend for God.

I cannot feel the moon move the tide

I cannot see the thunder

But the skies cry for God, the ground thirsts for God,

and the waves break for God.

I cannot trace the lines in God's palm with my fingers

I cannot feel the gates of Heaven

But God's love is my life, God's will is that I live it,

and I am the Call of God.

ashtray lies

ashtrays and empty promises
dictate your means,
and your ends sprawl in piles of ash and rueful thoughts.

gunshot words and a knife sharp tongue,
you can't help stoking your own fire
with apathetic shrugs and whiskey caps.

the smoke on your breath gives atmosphere
to your crooked demeanor, and your
glassy eyes lie behind a filmy ashtray green.

because you said you love me

falling. sinking. crashing.
I'm colliding with my own thoughts.
spilling. gushing. racing.
I cannot escape their finesse; their subtle ability to overtake me.
weaving. shooting. pouring.
Your face and your words feed my overwhelmed head
without consent of its appetite.
Slopes, curves, and tangents all lead to the same indefinite end
and my heart might explode with all the twists and turns.
My feet are sinking into the concrete beneath me
and your words seep into my every pore.
What I want to say words cannot concoct and
your every word pushes me further into my comatose reality.
I am helpless, wordless, and absolutely euphoric
because you said you love me.

Inevitably

Words and faces
drip and melt
into your pool of memory that
festers in uncertainty of character.

Foundations of trust are broken with lies
And unkempt corridors in the dusty corners of your mind
resent the residence of true things.
Your mind twists with familiar grudges and
comforting hate.

But where will your unsteady feet walk you
what will your ceaseless judgments give you
when you realize
The truth lies in deep springs seen from polished window panes.

Without You

Walking this pier at dusk
I long for some sweet comfort.
My eyes search the wide sea but it yields no sign of you.

A bitter gust holds a promise of winter in its whisper
and I must be without you.
The tide's surge pushing up the sands
tries to soothe my soul.

The rocky cliffs under the lighthouse
break the rhythm of the tide and calms the sea's fury.
The sea birds seem to cry with me yet I am loath to
depart this lonely, beautiful place

The grey blue dusk of late autumn blends in with the slate sea
as distant whitecaps are cold against the sky.
The salty air and wet wind slap my cheek and blow through my hair
And you're not here.

A barge, rusty and silent, cuts through the waves and makes its path
to where I wish I could go-
Anywhere to escape my own thoughts.
I'm desperate to leave, yet I cannot tear myself away from this place.

Worn with salt spray and sun, this pier is old and wise.
It will hold me as I stand,
waiting.

I Heard You

When the quiet was deafening I heard you.
When the sky broke with rain
I heard you.

When the calm water was a mirror to my soul I heard you.
When hurricanes filled my head
I heard you.

When my world lay under fine dry snow I heard you.
When the snow revealed puddles and slush
I still heard you.

When I had nothing to hide but smiles, I heard you.
When fear held me and temptation enveloped me
I heard you the most.

But was I listening?

Hold your mistakes in your hand, suffocate them in your grip.
Strip your eyes naked and open wide your stubborn ears-
Regret won't come unless you call it.