it's finally friday!!!!! freedom friday.
i feel deep today. is that weird? I just want to write intelligent poetry and read big books and write notes in the margins and have philosophical conversations. Yeah, okay definitely weird.
I had a funfetti cupcake for breakfast. Valerie Carnevale's middle name should be "im-the-most-amazing-person-ever-because-i-do-stuff-that-makes-mary's-life-on-a-daily-basis." She mailed me an ADORABLE, construction paper-covered package containing HOMEMADE funfetti cupcakes, BEEF JERKEY [she's my hero], fruit snacks and a whole buncha love. I don't deserve her. You know, I have the best conversations with her. I always have epiphanies about life when we talk. It's pretty cool. I kiiinda dig it.
It's a blustery, winnie-the-pooh kind of day outside. The sun is toootally playing hard to get and its SO windy. I don't even have to try and whip my hair back and forth with this business going on outside, it does it by itself.
I felt like mixing it up today, so I put half and half in my coffee.
Is it pathetic that that's my idea of mixing it up? Golly.
Anatomy & Physiology miight just be the death of me someday.
Emily Robinson is the bomb. She drew me a picture. With colored pencils. And wrote me a note. Emily writes her notes in cursive... she is SO rad. I don't even think I remember how to write in cursive. I like her, soo much.
Ooo the sun is setting right now, and it's peeking through the clouds and its making a gorgeous orange-pink glow on the roof of a building out my window. I have a thing for sunsets. It's prolly my favorite time of day, just because there is absolutely nothing better to do in my mind than to just sit and LOOK at it until it sets all the way. Ever notice how fast the sun goes down? The sky changes like every second, it's pretty nifty.
That's something I like about myself, I think. I'm good at noticing stuff and appreciating it. Especially when it comes to nature. Like, I'm completely happy to just SIT outside and do nothing but feel the sun or watch the stars. Easy to please, so grateful for the earth im on. Life is pretty sweet, we get so many freebies. STARS? I mean, come on. They're such a cool party favor.
I need to start documenting my life in photos. And printing them out and making scrapbooks. I want to freeze some of my memories these days and be able to go back to them later. Life is so good.
Im aching for summertime. I want warm wind and open windows and open roads and driving in the middle of nowhere and sitting on my roof looking at the stars between the trees and having midnight walks and mowing the lawn barefoot and then realizing it makes my feet green. I miss summer. I miss having a season that's devoted to chilling out. that's so awesome. sometimes i wish we lived in like, mexico or spain... they have a like 3 hour chunk in the middle of the day to SIESTA. that is so. awesome.
Imma go have a Mary siesta. Today, im deciding life should be free & easy.
Letting go.
Happy weekend.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Every crack in the sidewalk is an opportunity for a dandelion to pop up.
Sometimes it baffles me on days like today, when the sky is grey and dreary and everywhere is soggy and snow-sopped, when you get 4 hours of sleep and are on your second cup of bad coffee, i can still be smiling. I was walking to work today and someone had wrote on the sidewalk "pay it forward." I smiled. That's so cool that someone would just do that, with sidewalk chalk. I want sidewalk chalk! It felt like the world gave me a little hug. I wanted to smile at the next stranger who walked by, just so they'd smile at the next person who walked by them. Pay it forward is such a cool thing. What goes around comes around, people.
It's crazy how God works sometimes. He puts people in your life who mirror your own struggles and thoughts in life and by interacting with them, you begin to examine yourself. I've had a lot of that lately. I can think of at least three people/instances where I've kind of been blown off my feet and left, figuratively, sitting on the ground, looking at my shoes, peeling apart different aspects of myself and trying to understand them. Being able to have people who can actually RELATE to you and your mentality and experiences is, I think, a really rare thing. It's beautiful too. I'm so grateful to have people in my life who I can open up to and who can open up to me as well. Reality check alllll over the place. It's good for me.
It was in the mid 70s on friday, and last night, it rained ice. WHADDAHECK?
So last night, I was up doing three lab reports that were due today. It was about 1:45am and I still had a ways to go and I was SO tired. I hadn't had caffeine that day and I had a killer headache and I was feeling really pleh. So I decided to get a soda from the vending machine. I never drink soda, I don't even like it that much. But in my desperation, I ventured to the vending machine with my $1.50 to get one. I tried putting my dollar in the machine and it wouldn't go. I was upset. Then I counted up my change and I was 15 cents short of a buck fifty. That was cool. Then I went to another vending machine and tada! It took my dollar! Then I started putting my change in. It didn't take my change. WAHH. So then I pushed the change return button and got my dollar back IN NICKELS. That was cool. Then I proceeded to the first vending machine I tried and, wouldn't ya know it, it wouldn't take change either. That put a big fat grin on my face. I was determined to overcome this conquest to find a working vending machine, I worked too hard to stop now. Soooo I had to go up two floors and hunt down a vending machine in one of the dorm halls. I got weird looks for paying $1.50 in nickels for my diet dr. pepper. I liked it.
And me and my homework lived happily ever after alongside the stupid, stupid not even that yummy dr. pepper.
I love talking to my mommy on the phone when I'm sitting outside on gloomy days.
I think Emily Robinson is the bomb dot com. Why do you ask?
Beeeecause she is an astounding multi-tasker while driving [don't try it at home.]
And she have a dazzling sense of humor. [She laughs with me at old people stumbling on the metro]She pulls off everything she wears. [Yes, Em, even your party glasses.]And she's pretty much just the most beautiful, sparkly, amazing friend ever. I love you, Lemmy.
I love baby Jaime. Every inch of that cute little Indian girl is nothing but a bundle of joy. [For those of you who don't know, Baby Jaime is actually my 19 year old classmate, we just call her baby Jaime because she's fun sized] Tuesdays are my all-day-with-Jaime days. I love laughing with her at our raaandom psychology videos and at our crazy anatomy professor and dissecting our Infamous p.i.g. with her. She's great. I love Jaime.
Emily Dober is the stiletto to my high heels, the -izza to my pizza. I lufff her. And her many faces.
Hey, Chelsea? Spanks for calling me today :) And I'm sorry I bailed on our study date last night, I'm a baaad boyfriend.
VALERIE, let's run away and build a treehouse and always be barefoot and sit on porch swings eating party pops till we have popsicle smiles and talk about life and its crazyness and how we love every second of it. I wish you were here.
I hung out with Dillon on Sunday!!! Such a good catch up time, I missed him. We went to Chevys and I ate his shrimp and we swapped ridiculous stories and met a just-turned-18-so-i'm-really-excited-to-offer-people-lighters-because-i-can-smoke-legally-now guy on the street. Apparently the only words in his vocabulary were "um, I mean.."
It was funny.
Dillon told him that he was a husky breeder and that he was born and raised in Ohio but aspires to move to North Dakota because, in North Dakota, huskies are abundant.
It was a good day.
I also hung out with Becca this past weekend! That was so fun, I love Beccatime. We laughed and talked and played trivial pursuit and I was baffled by her inside jokes with her friends. It was a good night.
I'm at work right now, and about 2 minutes ago, literally every phone in the room was ringing and I was the only on in here, so I felt like I was in one of those old-time tv shows where they showed the one person like tangled in phone cords and telling like 6 people to hold and is talking on two phones at once. That was mee.
I love having friends abundant.
Sometimes I want to write poetry SO bad, but I have nothing to write ABOUT. I just get random strings of words in my head that sound incredible, but I forget to write them down. It makes me sad. But hey, maybe I'll write a poem today.
When the day is done, I'm going to kick up my feet, clad in fuzzy slippers of course, wear comfy, unflattering clothes, hunt down some chocolate milk, and smile. Because today is new, every minute is a new one to be the freshest, cleanest, brand-newest you you can be. Maybe that should be my challenge. I want to be new every minute, take what I see and use it, all of it, to be the best I can be. Frustrations are part of it. I'm not going to be skippity, happy-go-lucky every second of my life, that's just kinda gross. But I can choose to take my struggles with inward joy because I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Every pothole you run over is just a reminder to get new struts, yeah? I think so.
Every crack in the sidewalk is an opportunity for a dandelion to pop up.
I think that I'll make that my post title.
Happy Tuesday, everyone.
It's crazy how God works sometimes. He puts people in your life who mirror your own struggles and thoughts in life and by interacting with them, you begin to examine yourself. I've had a lot of that lately. I can think of at least three people/instances where I've kind of been blown off my feet and left, figuratively, sitting on the ground, looking at my shoes, peeling apart different aspects of myself and trying to understand them. Being able to have people who can actually RELATE to you and your mentality and experiences is, I think, a really rare thing. It's beautiful too. I'm so grateful to have people in my life who I can open up to and who can open up to me as well. Reality check alllll over the place. It's good for me.
It was in the mid 70s on friday, and last night, it rained ice. WHADDAHECK?
So last night, I was up doing three lab reports that were due today. It was about 1:45am and I still had a ways to go and I was SO tired. I hadn't had caffeine that day and I had a killer headache and I was feeling really pleh. So I decided to get a soda from the vending machine. I never drink soda, I don't even like it that much. But in my desperation, I ventured to the vending machine with my $1.50 to get one. I tried putting my dollar in the machine and it wouldn't go. I was upset. Then I counted up my change and I was 15 cents short of a buck fifty. That was cool. Then I went to another vending machine and tada! It took my dollar! Then I started putting my change in. It didn't take my change. WAHH. So then I pushed the change return button and got my dollar back IN NICKELS. That was cool. Then I proceeded to the first vending machine I tried and, wouldn't ya know it, it wouldn't take change either. That put a big fat grin on my face. I was determined to overcome this conquest to find a working vending machine, I worked too hard to stop now. Soooo I had to go up two floors and hunt down a vending machine in one of the dorm halls. I got weird looks for paying $1.50 in nickels for my diet dr. pepper. I liked it.
And me and my homework lived happily ever after alongside the stupid, stupid not even that yummy dr. pepper.
I love talking to my mommy on the phone when I'm sitting outside on gloomy days.
I think Emily Robinson is the bomb dot com. Why do you ask?
Beeeecause she is an astounding multi-tasker while driving [don't try it at home.]
And she have a dazzling sense of humor. [She laughs with me at old people stumbling on the metro]She pulls off everything she wears. [Yes, Em, even your party glasses.]And she's pretty much just the most beautiful, sparkly, amazing friend ever. I love you, Lemmy.
I love baby Jaime. Every inch of that cute little Indian girl is nothing but a bundle of joy. [For those of you who don't know, Baby Jaime is actually my 19 year old classmate, we just call her baby Jaime because she's fun sized] Tuesdays are my all-day-with-Jaime days. I love laughing with her at our raaandom psychology videos and at our crazy anatomy professor and dissecting our Infamous p.i.g. with her. She's great. I love Jaime.
Emily Dober is the stiletto to my high heels, the -izza to my pizza. I lufff her. And her many faces.
Hey, Chelsea? Spanks for calling me today :) And I'm sorry I bailed on our study date last night, I'm a baaad boyfriend.
VALERIE, let's run away and build a treehouse and always be barefoot and sit on porch swings eating party pops till we have popsicle smiles and talk about life and its crazyness and how we love every second of it. I wish you were here.
I hung out with Dillon on Sunday!!! Such a good catch up time, I missed him. We went to Chevys and I ate his shrimp and we swapped ridiculous stories and met a just-turned-18-so-i'm-really-excited-to-offer-people-lighters-because-i-can-smoke-legally-now guy on the street. Apparently the only words in his vocabulary were "um, I mean.."
It was funny.
Dillon told him that he was a husky breeder and that he was born and raised in Ohio but aspires to move to North Dakota because, in North Dakota, huskies are abundant.
It was a good day.
I also hung out with Becca this past weekend! That was so fun, I love Beccatime. We laughed and talked and played trivial pursuit and I was baffled by her inside jokes with her friends. It was a good night.
I'm at work right now, and about 2 minutes ago, literally every phone in the room was ringing and I was the only on in here, so I felt like I was in one of those old-time tv shows where they showed the one person like tangled in phone cords and telling like 6 people to hold and is talking on two phones at once. That was mee.
I love having friends abundant.
Sometimes I want to write poetry SO bad, but I have nothing to write ABOUT. I just get random strings of words in my head that sound incredible, but I forget to write them down. It makes me sad. But hey, maybe I'll write a poem today.
When the day is done, I'm going to kick up my feet, clad in fuzzy slippers of course, wear comfy, unflattering clothes, hunt down some chocolate milk, and smile. Because today is new, every minute is a new one to be the freshest, cleanest, brand-newest you you can be. Maybe that should be my challenge. I want to be new every minute, take what I see and use it, all of it, to be the best I can be. Frustrations are part of it. I'm not going to be skippity, happy-go-lucky every second of my life, that's just kinda gross. But I can choose to take my struggles with inward joy because I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Every pothole you run over is just a reminder to get new struts, yeah? I think so.
Every crack in the sidewalk is an opportunity for a dandelion to pop up.
I think that I'll make that my post title.
Happy Tuesday, everyone.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
I can feel the sting of summer on my skin
I think I have cumulatively spent about 3 hours in the sun today. 3!!!! Because today is absolutely, incredibly perfect. It's not cold. At all. Not even when the wind blows. I was HOT sitting in the sunshine at 11am. THANK YOU GOD. I started off my day well. After I got back from my 8:45 in Ballston [the other campus that you have to take a shuttle to], I sat outside the student center for two hours studying for my american lit exam. It was not only productive studytime, I think I got some new freckles too :)
My test was really really long, but overall, I think I actually kinda owned it. It's all gonna depend on my my professor grades it though... mmmrh.
I left my theology class like 35 mins early today 'cause i felt sicky. My head was really light and spinny and i just felt pleh. So I went and sat on a picnic bench and drank a power-c machine naked juice, and all was right with the world. Then I ran into my theology professor. That wasn't awkward.
I LOVE COUNTRY MUSIC. Especially on days like this. I can't get enough of the sound and feel of sunshine. That's what good country is, you know. The sound of sunshine. Gravel roads, feet on the dashboard, windows down, feet hanging off the end of a pier sunshine. I miss days like this. So alive.
I love that Jaime said I was awesome Today. Twice.
I love that Chelsea just walked in with wet hair and I got a text from her like 3 mins ago telling me to tell everyone in the office that "she's on her way!"
I love that I wore a skirt, tank top, and flip flops today and was completely comfortable the whole day because it's so warm out.
I love that I laid down in the middle of a parkinglot barefoot.
I love that I have friends who want to give me slurpies and bites of their chicken quesadillas.
I love that people were playing pickup soccer on the practice field today.
I love that I talked to my mom today.
I love that instead of listening to my history lecture, I wrote Becca a letter.
I love that I'm wearing the purse thresee gave me and it has a huge owl in front that reminds me of valerie.
I love that Im about to go to a choral concert and be recorded on tv and I've literally read through the music twice. Helooo improv.
I love that my bracelet says carpe diem.
I like life today. You know the song "anything but mine" by kenny chesney? It's in my head, and it reminds me of summertime on the beach at sunset and I want to be back there soooo badly. I love the smell of the beach, when the hot day is over and the leftover haze of hot, salty air is still leftover and it fades to a taste in your mouth and nose.I miss sand being everywhere, even though it's irritating. I miss coming inside to the blasting air conditioning and sitting down on a sofa and still feel the sun sinking in my skin. I miss summertime, the lazy days, the runs when the sun is coming up. Mmmm give me a sunrise run on the gulf. Sounds so nice.
Like I said earlier, I have to leave work in like ten minutes to go sing for the choir that I spontaneously joined hahaha. We're going to the national shrine and recording music for two masses. I have only rehearsed with them ONCE. This will be ridiculously adventurous. I'm down to dabble.
It's a beautiful day, don't let it get away. I think I may have gotten a little sun on my cheeks, just God's reminder that he loves me and spring is on its way. Take off your shoes, wear tour tshirt inside out, snap your gum, sing while you walk in public. Don't lose today, it's the only February 17th 2011 you'll ever have. EVER.
I'm such a drama queen.
My test was really really long, but overall, I think I actually kinda owned it. It's all gonna depend on my my professor grades it though... mmmrh.
I left my theology class like 35 mins early today 'cause i felt sicky. My head was really light and spinny and i just felt pleh. So I went and sat on a picnic bench and drank a power-c machine naked juice, and all was right with the world. Then I ran into my theology professor. That wasn't awkward.
I LOVE COUNTRY MUSIC. Especially on days like this. I can't get enough of the sound and feel of sunshine. That's what good country is, you know. The sound of sunshine. Gravel roads, feet on the dashboard, windows down, feet hanging off the end of a pier sunshine. I miss days like this. So alive.
I love that Jaime said I was awesome Today. Twice.
I love that Chelsea just walked in with wet hair and I got a text from her like 3 mins ago telling me to tell everyone in the office that "she's on her way!"
I love that I wore a skirt, tank top, and flip flops today and was completely comfortable the whole day because it's so warm out.
I love that I laid down in the middle of a parkinglot barefoot.
I love that I have friends who want to give me slurpies and bites of their chicken quesadillas.
I love that people were playing pickup soccer on the practice field today.
I love that I talked to my mom today.
I love that instead of listening to my history lecture, I wrote Becca a letter.
I love that I'm wearing the purse thresee gave me and it has a huge owl in front that reminds me of valerie.
I love that Im about to go to a choral concert and be recorded on tv and I've literally read through the music twice. Helooo improv.
I love that my bracelet says carpe diem.
I like life today. You know the song "anything but mine" by kenny chesney? It's in my head, and it reminds me of summertime on the beach at sunset and I want to be back there soooo badly. I love the smell of the beach, when the hot day is over and the leftover haze of hot, salty air is still leftover and it fades to a taste in your mouth and nose.I miss sand being everywhere, even though it's irritating. I miss coming inside to the blasting air conditioning and sitting down on a sofa and still feel the sun sinking in my skin. I miss summertime, the lazy days, the runs when the sun is coming up. Mmmm give me a sunrise run on the gulf. Sounds so nice.
Like I said earlier, I have to leave work in like ten minutes to go sing for the choir that I spontaneously joined hahaha. We're going to the national shrine and recording music for two masses. I have only rehearsed with them ONCE. This will be ridiculously adventurous. I'm down to dabble.
It's a beautiful day, don't let it get away. I think I may have gotten a little sun on my cheeks, just God's reminder that he loves me and spring is on its way. Take off your shoes, wear tour tshirt inside out, snap your gum, sing while you walk in public. Don't lose today, it's the only February 17th 2011 you'll ever have. EVER.
I'm such a drama queen.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
series of [un]fortunate events.
i just really really burned my tongue on my coffee. i don't think ill be able to taste anything for a week.
today has been the weirdest, most frustrating yet strangely half-productive day.
it was beauuuutfil outside today. it actually felt like spring. 60 degrees and blissfully sunny. obviously, amaaazing running weather. so i ran, i ran a difficult, hilly, good route. when i got back, i freaked out because my student ID, which i'd put in my pocket at the beginning of my run, was GONE. So, i re-traced my steps. Ran the whole route over again, looking for my ID that dropped. I never found it. I was soo upset. I was locked out of my room also, so I was not the happiest of campers. After I got a resident life person to unlock my door [which is a five dollar charge on my student account], i showered real fast and ended up being an hour late for work. Bueno. Then, since I assumed the hunt for my ID to be hopeless, I proceeded to go the ID office to get a new student ID made. [Without an ID, you can't scan up in elevators to your room, and you can't eat.] It is a $30 charge on your student account for a new ID. That's so. much. money. That I don't have. I was grumpy.
So fast forward one hour and Im in line for dinner, and my friend walks up behind me and was like "oh hey feeks, you'll never guess what I found!"
yeah.
he found my ID.
at the beginning of where I started retracing my route.
WHAT. THE. HECK.
He musta picked it up while I was on round one of my running escapade, so when i went back to look for it, it wasn't there.
Long story short, I wasted $35 dollars today. And that puts a frowny on my face.
In other news, I have a huge american lit II test tomorrow that im not by anyy means ready for. I have choir practice in an hour, not very much sleep, a burnt tongue, owwy knees from my unexpected 5 mile run full of hills, AND it's steaming hot in this libary. I might lose it. But im trying not to.
positives:
i'm wearing flip flops.
liz and nick stuck with me when i was stranded out of my room.
someone told me that my toenail polish reminded them of the little mermaid. win.
it's hump day.
im not sick.
i got extra exercise today.
the night is young.
Im in a weird mood, im trying not to be discouraged, it's just one of those days that you have to push out of your mind and move on with the next thing, but im totally beating myself up about the whole ID thing. boooo.
but om going to smile at the next person who walks by, im going to study all night and get prepared for this exam. Im going to be positive. positive pete.
jqnwdkjnfkjsdlkfcls
okay, peace out. I hope your day was sunshiney and "adventurous" like mine.
today has been the weirdest, most frustrating yet strangely half-productive day.
it was beauuuutfil outside today. it actually felt like spring. 60 degrees and blissfully sunny. obviously, amaaazing running weather. so i ran, i ran a difficult, hilly, good route. when i got back, i freaked out because my student ID, which i'd put in my pocket at the beginning of my run, was GONE. So, i re-traced my steps. Ran the whole route over again, looking for my ID that dropped. I never found it. I was soo upset. I was locked out of my room also, so I was not the happiest of campers. After I got a resident life person to unlock my door [which is a five dollar charge on my student account], i showered real fast and ended up being an hour late for work. Bueno. Then, since I assumed the hunt for my ID to be hopeless, I proceeded to go the ID office to get a new student ID made. [Without an ID, you can't scan up in elevators to your room, and you can't eat.] It is a $30 charge on your student account for a new ID. That's so. much. money. That I don't have. I was grumpy.
So fast forward one hour and Im in line for dinner, and my friend walks up behind me and was like "oh hey feeks, you'll never guess what I found!"
yeah.
he found my ID.
at the beginning of where I started retracing my route.
WHAT. THE. HECK.
He musta picked it up while I was on round one of my running escapade, so when i went back to look for it, it wasn't there.
Long story short, I wasted $35 dollars today. And that puts a frowny on my face.
In other news, I have a huge american lit II test tomorrow that im not by anyy means ready for. I have choir practice in an hour, not very much sleep, a burnt tongue, owwy knees from my unexpected 5 mile run full of hills, AND it's steaming hot in this libary. I might lose it. But im trying not to.
positives:
i'm wearing flip flops.
liz and nick stuck with me when i was stranded out of my room.
someone told me that my toenail polish reminded them of the little mermaid. win.
it's hump day.
im not sick.
i got extra exercise today.
the night is young.
Im in a weird mood, im trying not to be discouraged, it's just one of those days that you have to push out of your mind and move on with the next thing, but im totally beating myself up about the whole ID thing. boooo.
but om going to smile at the next person who walks by, im going to study all night and get prepared for this exam. Im going to be positive. positive pete.
jqnwdkjnfkjsdlkfcls
okay, peace out. I hope your day was sunshiney and "adventurous" like mine.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Summertime on my mind.
Summertime is on my mind. I went running outside yesterday and I just got a flood of "i want summertime back"-ness. Don't get me wrong-- it was a GORGEOUS day and I had a really good run, but I missed being warm. I hate when my body can't decide if it wants to be hot or cold when Im running. I hate when the back of my neck is freeezing because of the wind. I miss the burning of the sun on my face and the fact that the sweat dripping down my temples actually cooled me off instead of making me freeze. I those long runs in the afternoon when it's so hot that the sweat on your face is tangibly salty. That actually sounds so gross. I think you have to run to understand. I wanna run around in bare feet and put on my ankle bracelets again and have freckles on my nose again. I miss having freckles all the time.
Im writing a paper of theology right now on the issue of justifying suffering in the world while a good God exists. The prollem is that our professor doesnt want any of our original ideas. She just wants us to outline other theologians arguments. LAME. I feel like I can't fill 4 pages by summarizing. I miss originality. I feel like Ive written like 8 papers on this topic before and ive thought about it so much, I'm kind of bursting with things to say about this. Bah humbug. Maybe ill write a book. A very ADD book that will probably have a table of contents that looks like this:
1. Why does God allow people to suffer?
2. How to make the best ti-dye
3. Running actually IS psychological
4. I didn't sleep but I feel great
5. I could probably survive in the wilderness with nothing but matches, chapstick and toilet paper. [and beef jerkey if you're feeling like a gem and wanna gimme some]
6. I'm a college student and I have a bookshelf devoted to coloring books.
7. Deep awesome conversations that make my life worth living.
It would be an enlightening read.
WOO im so excited. So im sitting in the commuter's lounge near the bottom lobby of my building and there's a piano in here and there was a choir rehearsal, and I was like ohh man, i mss singing! So muchhh. So after they were done doing their thing, I went up to the director and was like "oh heyyy, if you're lookin for another alto, I'd be really interested!" And she was like "uhhh yes!" and basically threw me a binder of music. Im so happy!! I missed choir soo so much. That just made my day. Yayy. Okay, new thing to be excited about. Imma go kill this paper. Prolly not sleep. Do summore homework, then fly through my monday with a smile.
to infinity.
Im writing a paper of theology right now on the issue of justifying suffering in the world while a good God exists. The prollem is that our professor doesnt want any of our original ideas. She just wants us to outline other theologians arguments. LAME. I feel like I can't fill 4 pages by summarizing. I miss originality. I feel like Ive written like 8 papers on this topic before and ive thought about it so much, I'm kind of bursting with things to say about this. Bah humbug. Maybe ill write a book. A very ADD book that will probably have a table of contents that looks like this:
1. Why does God allow people to suffer?
2. How to make the best ti-dye
3. Running actually IS psychological
4. I didn't sleep but I feel great
5. I could probably survive in the wilderness with nothing but matches, chapstick and toilet paper. [and beef jerkey if you're feeling like a gem and wanna gimme some]
6. I'm a college student and I have a bookshelf devoted to coloring books.
7. Deep awesome conversations that make my life worth living.
It would be an enlightening read.
WOO im so excited. So im sitting in the commuter's lounge near the bottom lobby of my building and there's a piano in here and there was a choir rehearsal, and I was like ohh man, i mss singing! So muchhh. So after they were done doing their thing, I went up to the director and was like "oh heyyy, if you're lookin for another alto, I'd be really interested!" And she was like "uhhh yes!" and basically threw me a binder of music. Im so happy!! I missed choir soo so much. That just made my day. Yayy. Okay, new thing to be excited about. Imma go kill this paper. Prolly not sleep. Do summore homework, then fly through my monday with a smile.
to infinity.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Kite flying Thursday. Hey, I can at least pretend it's warm outside.
I went on a walk today. I never go on walks anymore. The sunshine is so warm today, even though the wind is really cold. After my morning class, which I had an exam in and totally rocked it, I got back to my room, looked out the window and just had to be outside. You know, when you give yourself the time to just walk alone, you have some pretty awesome thoughts. God is so there. I saw him in the piercing sky through the tangled trees and felt him in the air even though it stung my nose when I breathed. He's everywhere today.
I'm so blessed by conversations. I've had two amazing ones in the past two days and I'm just bakshlkj so grateful to be alive. The other day I was having a deep one with Valerie. We were talking about how, even though we're trying to do what we should and follow God and trust him, it gets so hard sometimes because isolation sets in, and sometimes no one understand you. Valerie shared one of her reflections with me, and I keep thinking about it.
"Just go step by step. My will shall be revealed to you as you go. You will never cease to be thankful for this time when you felt at peace and trustful, and yet had no human security. This is the time of true learning of trust in me. 'When your mother and father foresake you, then the Lord will take you up,' this is a literal dependence on me. When any human support or material help of any kind is removed, then my power can become operative. I cannot teach a man to walk who is trusting to a crutch. Away with your crutch, and my power shall so invigorate you that you shall indeed walk on to victory. Never limit my power. It is LIMITLESS." Those are the ways God speaks to us best. To our hearts and our souls. Through good beers and better conversations, cigarette buzzes and ridiculous laughter. He meets us where we are, wherever we are. It's so beautiful.
WOW. Okay, so what I needed to hear!! Away with your crutch! That's trust, it's blind, blatant, complete trust in God. Walking towards him, even if you're blinded by dumb distractions. It doesn't matter what they are. School, work, boys, friends, drama, insecurities, bad habits, doesn't matter. Drop your crutch. Stop worrying. Fall into step towards the greatest victory in the world, the greatest thing in life, a relationship with the Father. It's not easy, we have so many things constantly nagging us, making it seem like God should be put on a list or priorities, something alongside buying groceries or running a carpool. But we can't put God on a list!! Let him come to you. How you are, right now. In the most perfect ways, in the most normal situations, God can reveal himself. He'll show up on your back porch and ask for a drag of your cowboy killer. He'll steal your french fries when you're not looking, and he'll listen to everything. Let him in.
Again, my mind was blown today when I was talking to Dillon. He astounds me. He said "God is God. He will catch you no matter how fast you run, and once you sit down after the race, it's amazing. Find strength in God." Then he gave me the best scripture quote EVER.
“And now, O Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways, to love Him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul. Fear the Lord your God and serve Him. Hold fast to Him and take your oaths in His name. He is your praise; He is your God, who performed for you those great and awesome wonders you saw with your own eyes.”
- Deuteronomy 10:12 ; 20-21
I want to lay it all down, I want to be all for God. In my prayer time today, I just kept thinking, God I want to be YOURS, I want everything I do to be for you. I'm working on it, I want to give up the race, I want to sit down with God and find my strength in him.
I got a baby package in the mail from my mom and dad today. Inside was lipgloss, hand warmers, and a picture I cut out of a magazine of a ridiculously attractive man. My mom sent me my magazine cutout of a hottie. I think I win coolest mom EVER award. My dad stuck a note in the package that made me cry too. I miss my daddy so much.
My American Lit professor makes the FUNNIEST faces.
It took me far too long to fall asleep last night. Pleh.
I have a babysitting job on friday night! Yay little kids! and untaxed moneys! wohoo.
I'd love to fly a kite today.
Today I'm grateful for warm sunshine and the guy who held the door open for me for a really really long time because i was still like ten paces from the doorway. Thanks for the chivalry hahaha. I'm grateful for safeway peach iced tea packets that I can just pop into my water bottle for instant pizzazz. I'm grateful for clean laundry, even though Im pretty sure someone stole a pair of my jeans when they were switching the laundry... can I have 'em back pleeease? I'm grateful for organized drawers and the cool ring I got for $2. Im grateful for the coat Thresee gave me and for the fact that it's 3:50 and I haven't yawned more than 5 times today.
It's time to go to work.
Happy Thursday. Throw away your crutch. Live purposefully, breathe deliberately, and trust God, he kinda knows what he's doing.
I'm alive today, so alive.
I'm so blessed by conversations. I've had two amazing ones in the past two days and I'm just bakshlkj so grateful to be alive. The other day I was having a deep one with Valerie. We were talking about how, even though we're trying to do what we should and follow God and trust him, it gets so hard sometimes because isolation sets in, and sometimes no one understand you. Valerie shared one of her reflections with me, and I keep thinking about it.
"Just go step by step. My will shall be revealed to you as you go. You will never cease to be thankful for this time when you felt at peace and trustful, and yet had no human security. This is the time of true learning of trust in me. 'When your mother and father foresake you, then the Lord will take you up,' this is a literal dependence on me. When any human support or material help of any kind is removed, then my power can become operative. I cannot teach a man to walk who is trusting to a crutch. Away with your crutch, and my power shall so invigorate you that you shall indeed walk on to victory. Never limit my power. It is LIMITLESS." Those are the ways God speaks to us best. To our hearts and our souls. Through good beers and better conversations, cigarette buzzes and ridiculous laughter. He meets us where we are, wherever we are. It's so beautiful.
WOW. Okay, so what I needed to hear!! Away with your crutch! That's trust, it's blind, blatant, complete trust in God. Walking towards him, even if you're blinded by dumb distractions. It doesn't matter what they are. School, work, boys, friends, drama, insecurities, bad habits, doesn't matter. Drop your crutch. Stop worrying. Fall into step towards the greatest victory in the world, the greatest thing in life, a relationship with the Father. It's not easy, we have so many things constantly nagging us, making it seem like God should be put on a list or priorities, something alongside buying groceries or running a carpool. But we can't put God on a list!! Let him come to you. How you are, right now. In the most perfect ways, in the most normal situations, God can reveal himself. He'll show up on your back porch and ask for a drag of your cowboy killer. He'll steal your french fries when you're not looking, and he'll listen to everything. Let him in.
Again, my mind was blown today when I was talking to Dillon. He astounds me. He said "God is God. He will catch you no matter how fast you run, and once you sit down after the race, it's amazing. Find strength in God." Then he gave me the best scripture quote EVER.
“And now, O Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways, to love Him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul. Fear the Lord your God and serve Him. Hold fast to Him and take your oaths in His name. He is your praise; He is your God, who performed for you those great and awesome wonders you saw with your own eyes.”
- Deuteronomy 10:12 ; 20-21
I want to lay it all down, I want to be all for God. In my prayer time today, I just kept thinking, God I want to be YOURS, I want everything I do to be for you. I'm working on it, I want to give up the race, I want to sit down with God and find my strength in him.
I got a baby package in the mail from my mom and dad today. Inside was lipgloss, hand warmers, and a picture I cut out of a magazine of a ridiculously attractive man. My mom sent me my magazine cutout of a hottie. I think I win coolest mom EVER award. My dad stuck a note in the package that made me cry too. I miss my daddy so much.
My American Lit professor makes the FUNNIEST faces.
It took me far too long to fall asleep last night. Pleh.
I have a babysitting job on friday night! Yay little kids! and untaxed moneys! wohoo.
I'd love to fly a kite today.
Today I'm grateful for warm sunshine and the guy who held the door open for me for a really really long time because i was still like ten paces from the doorway. Thanks for the chivalry hahaha. I'm grateful for safeway peach iced tea packets that I can just pop into my water bottle for instant pizzazz. I'm grateful for clean laundry, even though Im pretty sure someone stole a pair of my jeans when they were switching the laundry... can I have 'em back pleeease? I'm grateful for organized drawers and the cool ring I got for $2. Im grateful for the coat Thresee gave me and for the fact that it's 3:50 and I haven't yawned more than 5 times today.
It's time to go to work.
Happy Thursday. Throw away your crutch. Live purposefully, breathe deliberately, and trust God, he kinda knows what he's doing.
I'm alive today, so alive.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Happy Birthday, Becca!!
I'm listening to "Motorcycle Driveby" by Third Eye Blind. It's a ridiculously poetic and meaningful song. Careening through the universe. Isn't that a cool idea? I think so. Careening, according to webster means "to lean, sway, or tip to one side while in motion." I don't think anyone can stay upright if they're careening through the universe. It gives me an image of blurred sidelines, you're racing towards an end that isn't quite visible yet, but it's there. The pace of life, sprinting towards this end is an impossible rush. Careening through my universe. It may be blurry and scary, I'm on a tilt, but I'm smiling. The sun can blaze in my eyes right now, I wouldn't mind. Today, my smile is as indestructible as the sky. So, so alive today.
I went to the McNichol's house last night for my sister Becca's birthday party. I am sooo so happy I got to go. It was the best night Ive had in a really long time. I got there at like 6:45 and from then until 2am, we were eating, drinking, smoking, and talking, jamming on guitars and having the best time. ever. I really love Becca. She's someone who I've taken a really long time to know, which sounds weird because she's my sister, but for all of my high school years and adult life, we've never lived together, so I never really got the chance to KNOW her. Living here in DC brought me a lot closer to her, and lemme tell you, she is one of the most astounding people I know. She's turning 24 on Wednesday. So here are 24 things that I love/respect about Miss Rebecca Mary Joan Badass Feeks. [Sorry if my language is offensive, but the person who is Becca Feeks deems it necessary, it's so true.]
- Becca plays guitar. She plays it ridiculously well. Like... holy COW she's so cool.
- Becca Feeks loves more selflessly than anyone I know. She invests herself and her heart in her relationships. She lets her friends and conversations and experiences seep into her personhood and shape her. That's courageous, that's selfless love-- to open yourself up so much that others' words and actions stay with you and affect you, and in return you share yourself with others.
- Becca can drive a manual car with no power steering. Boss.
- Becca Feeks can sing, whether she advertises it or not.
- Becca never wants to be the center of attention, instead she is concerned for what other people need or want, she never wants to be fussed over. Simply because she doesn't want to ever be a nuisance.
- Becca has impeccable music taste.
- Becca is sophisticated when it comes to drinking alcohol.
- Rebecca is one of the smartest people I know. She decides she wants to be well read and educated, so she takes the initiative to read and discuss stuff. She lets what she learns affect her mind and heart. That's so cool.
- Rebecca has a fierce trust in the Lord. She's steadfast-- even when she's sad, lonely, frustrated, fed-up, she maintains her trust. God is her man, through and through. That takes so much courage.
- Becca always looks pretty.
- Becca has a dazzling personality and a phenomenal sense of humor.
- She genuinely liked my birthday gift to her-- beef jerkey, twizlers, and cigarettes. She's my hero.
- She thrives under pressure.
- She is a fantastic cook.
- Becca is an absolutely brilliant writer.
- She bought me plane tix to go home for thanksgiving. :O
- She's on fire for life.
- She takes her own advice, ive never had a better example, she's such a role model for me.
- She is 100000% genuine.
- She has an impressive vocabulary.
- She's really good at doing donuts in the car.
- She drives me places and buys me food and makes me happy when my life goes awry.
- She's a talented athlete-- if it wasn't for her, I would have probably never been a goalie.
- She perseveres, though everything.
- She runs remarkably well on little to no sleep.
- She taught me that it's okay to not have everything always figured out.
- She's overcome more challenges than prolly you and me combined. From high school relationships to switching colleges to job hunting and everything in between, she has turned out to be nothing but an amazing, sophisticated, completely beautiful daughter of God and a wonderful sister.
I'm so blessed to have you in my life, happy birthday, beccaba.
Its superbowl day!!!!
i have to do homework, take a shower, then its gametimmmmeee!!!
go packers... i guess.
bears, ya let me down.
anyway, its been a fantastic weekend, I love my life, everything about it. Can't get me down right now, I'm miles high on life.
I went to the McNichol's house last night for my sister Becca's birthday party. I am sooo so happy I got to go. It was the best night Ive had in a really long time. I got there at like 6:45 and from then until 2am, we were eating, drinking, smoking, and talking, jamming on guitars and having the best time. ever. I really love Becca. She's someone who I've taken a really long time to know, which sounds weird because she's my sister, but for all of my high school years and adult life, we've never lived together, so I never really got the chance to KNOW her. Living here in DC brought me a lot closer to her, and lemme tell you, she is one of the most astounding people I know. She's turning 24 on Wednesday. So here are 24 things that I love/respect about Miss Rebecca Mary Joan Badass Feeks. [Sorry if my language is offensive, but the person who is Becca Feeks deems it necessary, it's so true.]
- Becca plays guitar. She plays it ridiculously well. Like... holy COW she's so cool.
- Becca Feeks loves more selflessly than anyone I know. She invests herself and her heart in her relationships. She lets her friends and conversations and experiences seep into her personhood and shape her. That's courageous, that's selfless love-- to open yourself up so much that others' words and actions stay with you and affect you, and in return you share yourself with others.
- Becca can drive a manual car with no power steering. Boss.
- Becca Feeks can sing, whether she advertises it or not.
- Becca never wants to be the center of attention, instead she is concerned for what other people need or want, she never wants to be fussed over. Simply because she doesn't want to ever be a nuisance.
- Becca has impeccable music taste.
- Becca is sophisticated when it comes to drinking alcohol.
- Rebecca is one of the smartest people I know. She decides she wants to be well read and educated, so she takes the initiative to read and discuss stuff. She lets what she learns affect her mind and heart. That's so cool.
- Rebecca has a fierce trust in the Lord. She's steadfast-- even when she's sad, lonely, frustrated, fed-up, she maintains her trust. God is her man, through and through. That takes so much courage.
- Becca always looks pretty.
- Becca has a dazzling personality and a phenomenal sense of humor.
- She genuinely liked my birthday gift to her-- beef jerkey, twizlers, and cigarettes. She's my hero.
- She thrives under pressure.
- She is a fantastic cook.
- Becca is an absolutely brilliant writer.
- She bought me plane tix to go home for thanksgiving. :O
- She's on fire for life.
- She takes her own advice, ive never had a better example, she's such a role model for me.
- She is 100000% genuine.
- She has an impressive vocabulary.
- She's really good at doing donuts in the car.
- She drives me places and buys me food and makes me happy when my life goes awry.
- She's a talented athlete-- if it wasn't for her, I would have probably never been a goalie.
- She perseveres, though everything.
- She runs remarkably well on little to no sleep.
- She taught me that it's okay to not have everything always figured out.
- She's overcome more challenges than prolly you and me combined. From high school relationships to switching colleges to job hunting and everything in between, she has turned out to be nothing but an amazing, sophisticated, completely beautiful daughter of God and a wonderful sister.
I'm so blessed to have you in my life, happy birthday, beccaba.
Its superbowl day!!!!
i have to do homework, take a shower, then its gametimmmmeee!!!
go packers... i guess.
bears, ya let me down.
anyway, its been a fantastic weekend, I love my life, everything about it. Can't get me down right now, I'm miles high on life.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
I've never been so alive.
Im drinking horizon organic chocolate milk. you know the kind where the straw is supposed to be able to stick through the little foil cap, but the straw always bends and won't work so you have to stab the foil with something else, like a pen? Yeah that kind. I love chocolate milk. I splurged a dollar seventy five on this baby. For no other reason than the fact that it's almost friday, and the weather is sunshiney and bearable in my lightweight, non-winter jacket. I got stars in my eyes today.
Have you ever felt like crying for ABSOLUTELY no reason, but are completely happy at the same time? I feel like that right now. It's so weird. Im fighting off so many things in the back of my brain right now. Things that aren't worth thinking about that are distressing and dumb. Maybe it's the fact that I might be winning the battle. Im so alive today. But I feel really alone at the same time. But Im starting to feel like that's okay. Because sometimes being alone in a struggle is the most important thing about it. You have to come to grips with things on your own. Sometimes you can only take YOUR own advice, because no one else truly knows what you're dealing with, except God. So really, you're not alone cause God's right there with you, but he's not always going to be your training wheels. You have to put on your big kid pants, suck it up, and plow through the storm. That's what I'm doing today. Plowing through the storm. There may be puddles, but gosh darn it, I'm going to dance in them.
Valerie Marie Carnevale. i love everything about you. your mind, your heart, your willingness to accept challenges, setbacks, defeat. You always win, you always persevere. Thanks for being a soldier.
I've got to go to work, so this post is really short. But I just need to vent how I feel right now. I feel kind of like exploding. Todays the first time in a long time that I've felt really really CONTENT. Just to be. To be alive. Right now. I have to go to work, I have to pee, I'm kinda hungry, I have dishes to do and an unmade bed and papaers to edit and tests to study for but thats just it, im HERE to do all of that. And God will give me time for it. I let the sun hit me today, I let it pierce my eyes as I walked to class, I breathed deliberately, i thought. I thought more than I have in a long time about ordinary, simple things. And I remembered that I see beauty in all of it. Everything.
So here's to being. I do feel kind of alone today, but then again, I've really never been this alive.
Have you ever felt like crying for ABSOLUTELY no reason, but are completely happy at the same time? I feel like that right now. It's so weird. Im fighting off so many things in the back of my brain right now. Things that aren't worth thinking about that are distressing and dumb. Maybe it's the fact that I might be winning the battle. Im so alive today. But I feel really alone at the same time. But Im starting to feel like that's okay. Because sometimes being alone in a struggle is the most important thing about it. You have to come to grips with things on your own. Sometimes you can only take YOUR own advice, because no one else truly knows what you're dealing with, except God. So really, you're not alone cause God's right there with you, but he's not always going to be your training wheels. You have to put on your big kid pants, suck it up, and plow through the storm. That's what I'm doing today. Plowing through the storm. There may be puddles, but gosh darn it, I'm going to dance in them.
Valerie Marie Carnevale. i love everything about you. your mind, your heart, your willingness to accept challenges, setbacks, defeat. You always win, you always persevere. Thanks for being a soldier.
I've got to go to work, so this post is really short. But I just need to vent how I feel right now. I feel kind of like exploding. Todays the first time in a long time that I've felt really really CONTENT. Just to be. To be alive. Right now. I have to go to work, I have to pee, I'm kinda hungry, I have dishes to do and an unmade bed and papaers to edit and tests to study for but thats just it, im HERE to do all of that. And God will give me time for it. I let the sun hit me today, I let it pierce my eyes as I walked to class, I breathed deliberately, i thought. I thought more than I have in a long time about ordinary, simple things. And I remembered that I see beauty in all of it. Everything.
So here's to being. I do feel kind of alone today, but then again, I've really never been this alive.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Just can't enough
Ohhh goodness goodness!
I have been going going going all day long!! All week long really. Sunday night was practically sleepless due to me putting off writing a paper, then proceeding to get writer's block of hours. I loove it. Monday was dumbday. I didn't get to go to the gym and I was hopelessly sleepyface, but it ended beautifully with me and Jaime having a library session. It was real. Today was just aalskjdlk insannnity. Tuesdays are kinda brutal. I have Psychology, which is my chill-out, entertaining class, thennnnn I have A&P [which we have a quiz in every single class] and my A&P lab, which also gives a quiz every week, along with us having to turn in our lab reports. So tuesdays always feel stressful and too rushed. But today, I decided that even though I felt outta control crazy, I was going to laugh in Tuesday's face and take it by surprise. Bwahahaha. Let me fill you in. Tuesdays are stressful, but they are always rewarding, because on wednesdays, I have no classes. So if I make it through my class from 9-3, work from 4-6 schedule on tuesdays alive, I feel great after. My glitch this tuesday was that after work I'm going straiight to pentagon city to meet Emily so we can have a girls night! So the only prollem was that I wasn't gonna have time to run. This may seem like a small, ityybitty nothing, but I am on a fantastic streak of gymming, and since I didn't get to go yesterday, I was determined to go today. So heeeere's the good part. After my lab ended at 3 o'clock, I suddenly felt the need to take control of my day and not let it get the best of me, so I raced to my dorm, got on my workout clothes, went to the gym, ran a really fast 1.5 miles, did some abs and arms, ran back to my dorm, showered, got ready, and was at work looking moderately presentable by 4 o'clock. BAAAAAM. That was a really roundabout way of saying TAKE THAT, Tuesday.
So guess what? I, with all of my heart, want to try and go to World Youth Day this summer. It's in Madrid, Spain, somewhere I have ALWAYS, always wanted to go. Valerie is in my same boat, and we really wanna go for it. AHHH. What a blessed, beautiful, incredible experience that would be!!!!!! Please, please pray that it works out!! We're gonna fund raise to the maxxxxxx.
Last night, it took me about 3 hours to fall asleep. I don't like that biznassss.
I have been craving beef jerkey like it's my job. Is that weird?
Chelsea is in the room next door. We are at work. She is data-entering, and I'm answering phones. Sigh. So close, yet so far away. I love you Chazzi!
I really wanna start writing poetry again. Like, reallyreally. I just never make time for it anymore, and I really have a love for it. I have been doing lots of newspaper crossword puzzles lately though... they're getting easier too! Hooray for random knowledge and good vocabulary!
My tummy just growled soooo loudly.
mmmmmm water is so underrated. It's so gooood.
I have no logical train of thought right now. I am soo mentally exhausted, I'm so glad today is over. I feel accomplished, happy, and absolutely tired. I'm so excited to see Emily tonight. She is just wonderful, so funny and smiley and happy. I'm glad she's my friend.
I wrote a letter to my mom during theology the other day. Win.
I think everyone should utilize the postal system to its full advantage. You better believe I'll be sending valentines to my friendgirls.
I haaaaaave to do laundry. Dangit.
I love my mother.
Okayyyyy ten things im grateful for today:
- I got to run! So addicted, loving thiss.
- I knew everything about epithelial tissue on my quizzes today.
- I got to work on time!
- I can hear Chazzi typing
- I get to see Emily tonight!
- I ate a delicious ice cream cone
- I made the executive decision NOT to buy the huge, ungodly expensive anatomy textbook, because my lab manual is the exact. same. thing.
- I get off work in 18 minutes.
- I saw a guy fixing the ATM machine in the lobby. THANK YOU.
- I hear an airplane. I love the sound of airplanes, they make me think of cerulean blue skies during falltime football tailgates.
I love love love the craziness of my life right now. I'm just letting it happen and not letting stuff frustrate me. Time is flying so fast, it's scary. Midterms are in a few weeks and I feel like I just started classes again. Unreal.
But I love everything about this life right now. Give me papers to write and nights that are sleepless and aching runs and core-burning crunches and bad dining hall food and ridiculous nights and letters in my mailbox and dried hot chocolate stuck to the rim of my teal, goodwill-bought mug that I forgot to wash. I love it all, every second. Fill me up, life, I can't get enoughhh.
Happy end-of-Tuesday!!
I have been going going going all day long!! All week long really. Sunday night was practically sleepless due to me putting off writing a paper, then proceeding to get writer's block of hours. I loove it. Monday was dumbday. I didn't get to go to the gym and I was hopelessly sleepyface, but it ended beautifully with me and Jaime having a library session. It was real. Today was just aalskjdlk insannnity. Tuesdays are kinda brutal. I have Psychology, which is my chill-out, entertaining class, thennnnn I have A&P [which we have a quiz in every single class] and my A&P lab, which also gives a quiz every week, along with us having to turn in our lab reports. So tuesdays always feel stressful and too rushed. But today, I decided that even though I felt outta control crazy, I was going to laugh in Tuesday's face and take it by surprise. Bwahahaha. Let me fill you in. Tuesdays are stressful, but they are always rewarding, because on wednesdays, I have no classes. So if I make it through my class from 9-3, work from 4-6 schedule on tuesdays alive, I feel great after. My glitch this tuesday was that after work I'm going straiight to pentagon city to meet Emily so we can have a girls night! So the only prollem was that I wasn't gonna have time to run. This may seem like a small, ityybitty nothing, but I am on a fantastic streak of gymming, and since I didn't get to go yesterday, I was determined to go today. So heeeere's the good part. After my lab ended at 3 o'clock, I suddenly felt the need to take control of my day and not let it get the best of me, so I raced to my dorm, got on my workout clothes, went to the gym, ran a really fast 1.5 miles, did some abs and arms, ran back to my dorm, showered, got ready, and was at work looking moderately presentable by 4 o'clock. BAAAAAM. That was a really roundabout way of saying TAKE THAT, Tuesday.
So guess what? I, with all of my heart, want to try and go to World Youth Day this summer. It's in Madrid, Spain, somewhere I have ALWAYS, always wanted to go. Valerie is in my same boat, and we really wanna go for it. AHHH. What a blessed, beautiful, incredible experience that would be!!!!!! Please, please pray that it works out!! We're gonna fund raise to the maxxxxxx.
Last night, it took me about 3 hours to fall asleep. I don't like that biznassss.
I have been craving beef jerkey like it's my job. Is that weird?
Chelsea is in the room next door. We are at work. She is data-entering, and I'm answering phones. Sigh. So close, yet so far away. I love you Chazzi!
I really wanna start writing poetry again. Like, reallyreally. I just never make time for it anymore, and I really have a love for it. I have been doing lots of newspaper crossword puzzles lately though... they're getting easier too! Hooray for random knowledge and good vocabulary!
My tummy just growled soooo loudly.
mmmmmm water is so underrated. It's so gooood.
I have no logical train of thought right now. I am soo mentally exhausted, I'm so glad today is over. I feel accomplished, happy, and absolutely tired. I'm so excited to see Emily tonight. She is just wonderful, so funny and smiley and happy. I'm glad she's my friend.
I wrote a letter to my mom during theology the other day. Win.
I think everyone should utilize the postal system to its full advantage. You better believe I'll be sending valentines to my friendgirls.
I haaaaaave to do laundry. Dangit.
I love my mother.
Okayyyyy ten things im grateful for today:
- I got to run! So addicted, loving thiss.
- I knew everything about epithelial tissue on my quizzes today.
- I got to work on time!
- I can hear Chazzi typing
- I get to see Emily tonight!
- I ate a delicious ice cream cone
- I made the executive decision NOT to buy the huge, ungodly expensive anatomy textbook, because my lab manual is the exact. same. thing.
- I get off work in 18 minutes.
- I saw a guy fixing the ATM machine in the lobby. THANK YOU.
- I hear an airplane. I love the sound of airplanes, they make me think of cerulean blue skies during falltime football tailgates.
I love love love the craziness of my life right now. I'm just letting it happen and not letting stuff frustrate me. Time is flying so fast, it's scary. Midterms are in a few weeks and I feel like I just started classes again. Unreal.
But I love everything about this life right now. Give me papers to write and nights that are sleepless and aching runs and core-burning crunches and bad dining hall food and ridiculous nights and letters in my mailbox and dried hot chocolate stuck to the rim of my teal, goodwill-bought mug that I forgot to wash. I love it all, every second. Fill me up, life, I can't get enoughhh.
Happy end-of-Tuesday!!
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