I'm sitting at my kitchen table, drinking a large glass of water while looking outside at the gray, sopping wet weather outside. It is stereotypical south bend-looking, white-grey sky that makes everything else look grey alongside it. the rooftops all look the same color and even the trees take on a muddy looking hue to match the snow-melting ground beneath them. The poor swingset in the backyard looks so lonely! The dilapidated swings look really pathetic just hanging there... I wonder how long it's been since they've been used. Frankly, I might have been the last one to swing on them hahaha. Yes, I am 19 years old and still enjoy swingsets. They're my fave. During the summertime especially, I'll go on walks to the elementary school just outside the neighborhood and swing on the swings. It's the best, I feel like such a little kid and I love it.
I can't wait for sidewalk chalk weather.
Tomorrow, I'm driving to Indianapolis to stay with Valerie Carnevale and to spend time with all of my fabulous Indy kids. I'm soooo excited!! I'm also excited just for the drive. I'm weird, but I absolutely love driving, especially by myself. I can think and jam to my tunes to my heart's content without any disruptions except for my occasional irrational bouts of road rage. Tomorrow I will have 3 beautiful hours of country music and Indiana highways. Love it.
Honey nut cheerios are kind of just God's way of telling me he loves me. I love honey nut cheerios. They're perfectly mixed between hearty and sweet. Just soo yummy. Thanks for making my morning.
I didn't run today. On one foot, I'm kinda sad. On the other, it was pretty icky outside, so i may have spared myself some mild depression. I did go on a walk with the lovely Renee Delee. What a girl, I'm so lucky to have her as a best friend. We've been buds practically since birth. She is my sister. I love her so much... we just get each other so well. I just really really like Raybaby.
So I found out today that I'm getting another poem published! I'm really excited. It's funny because the website that chose it picked a really random one that I wrote a really long time ago. I'm still pretty stoked to have another poem published though. It makes me feel so official. :]
I'm so grateful for socks. I think i may have already said this at some point, but really. When your house has all wood and tile floors, socks are sooooo nice. It's freezing in my house.
I want to bake pumpkin bread. I think I will.
I want to go to the top of a lighthouse someday.
I want to drink wine at an outdoor restaurant in Italy.
I want to go to a FC Barca soccer game in Barcelona.
I want to to to Peru and help orphaned babies.
I want to jump out of a plane.
I want to hike the grand canyon.
I want to go hunting.
I wanna live live live live live. So much. I want to experience EVERYTHING.
Do you ever feel like that?? Like there's so much for you to soak up in life that it almost feels like life is way too short to do it? Maybe it's selfish for me to want so much. Don't get me wrong, if you told me that this is it, the things that I've done and the places i've gone are all I'll ever be able to do, I'd be happy because I have such a rich life. But I think that being alive means we should be able to see and experience as much as we can. The world is here for us. I want to see coastal greece and be somewhere where I don't understand the language. I wanna be confused and challenged by experiences. I think everyone should be able to have experiences like that. Because life isn't supposed to be easy all the time. We should adventure and test ourselves and look foolish. How else are we to truly understand the expansive, diverse, colossal world we're surrounded by? We should all give ourselves the chance to feel small and inconsequential, even if for a minute. The world is so much bigger than finals and meetings and carpools and schedules. What if we had the chance to free ourselves from it all for one day? Go somewhere where no one knows your name, no one knows who you are or where you go to school or how many kids you have or who matters to you? What if for one day, we were somewhere where we felt the most lonely, small, and insignificant we've ever felt? Would you embrace how humbling it would be, or would you revel in the misery? I think that we would all, by default, resort to the latter. But what if we didnt? We would find a different sense of self, I think. I kinda wanna try it, feeling insignificant, because I want to watch the chaos of the rest of the world without paying attention to my own. I think I'd learn a lot.
That was a huge, ridiculous, maybe even nonsensical tangent. Who's reading this? Whoever it is, bless your heart.
Dinnertime!
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