Oh, goodness, I've neglected you again, little blog. That's okay, I'm certain no one reads you, unfortunately.
Well, it's a glum looking day outside, very grey and droopy. I made myself get up early today and start my day off with a good prayer time. I don't have class until 3:30 today, so I had little motivation to roll out of bed at 8am, but I am very glad that I did! I'm trying to develop new grown up habits, starting with a morning ritual. I just think that any given day will go better if I have a set routine. Soooo, hooray for day number one!
I straightened my hair today just because I could. I keep forgetting how short it is! I miss my long hair sometimes. But, I won't dwell on vanity today! Today's for giving.
What do you want to accomplish today? If you were at your best right now, what would you be doing? What makes you tick?
I'm offering up my day to the Lord. I want him in my thoughts and conversations and choices, in the classroom and in my car when I drive. Ill choose to not to be wistful on this gloomy Wednesday, and instead I'll make some homemade sunshine.
Here's to a rockin' day! Pay it forward, smile, be bold and love well.
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Commuter Chronicles: Day 3
I found a deliciously close parking spot today! Somehow it just made this otherwise quite and cloudy day a happy and light one.
So this past Monday, I showed up for my Clinical Nutrition course, and with the exception of one other student, no one showed up, not even the professor. I've been spending my day trying to figure out what the heck is going on… because there's no way on God's green earth that I am paying for a class that seemingly does not exist. Twas very curious, it was. Let's cross our fingers and toes that this gets resolved!
I spent 90 dollars in the bookstore today. Damn the textbooks that are custom-written for specific courses! My wallet is hungry.
There is little to say about today. As I said, it's a bit gloomy outside. There was a powdered-sugar dusting of snow on the ground this morning, which from my understanding thwarted the masses that commute in the DC Metro area, and the traffic was a chaotic mess. Glad I missed that. These east coast weather-wimps. It makes me chuckle. I drove to campus around noontime (my class doesn't start until 3:30 today, fuel for the procrastinator in me), and listened to my audiobook on the way. It's actually not a bad commute. I tend to not take the 66 bypass because the traffic and unruly drivers can be obnoxious. Instead I opt for taking Lee Hwy all the way to Glebe (where my little school resides). The drive takes about 20-24 minutes, and aside from the many stoplights, the drive doesn't bother me one bit. It gives me just the right amount of time to say my prayers for the day and collect myself to gear up for the day.
You know that feeling you get when you get drawn into yourself maybe a millimeter deeper than usual, and you become daydreamy and nostalgic? You don't get sad, you get wistful. The most pleasant, self-indulgent kind of melancholy that tends to stick with you for the rest of the day. It's a selfish kind of forlorn; you reminisce about people and places, you tend to stare off with a dreamy look in your eye, then realize you look like an airhead, then make yourself turn from airhead to lunatic when you laugh audibly at yourself for spacing out. Every once in a while, though, I let myself indulge in the melancholy, for because just as loneliness threatens to interfere with the solace, hope jumps in to give your sentiments a glowy hue of promise.
Well, that's my rant for the day. I'm gonna go find a ladies room, smoke a cigarette (two separate endeavors, mind you), and go to class. Tally hoe! (where on earth does that expression come from?)
Happy Wednesday.
So this past Monday, I showed up for my Clinical Nutrition course, and with the exception of one other student, no one showed up, not even the professor. I've been spending my day trying to figure out what the heck is going on… because there's no way on God's green earth that I am paying for a class that seemingly does not exist. Twas very curious, it was. Let's cross our fingers and toes that this gets resolved!
I spent 90 dollars in the bookstore today. Damn the textbooks that are custom-written for specific courses! My wallet is hungry.
There is little to say about today. As I said, it's a bit gloomy outside. There was a powdered-sugar dusting of snow on the ground this morning, which from my understanding thwarted the masses that commute in the DC Metro area, and the traffic was a chaotic mess. Glad I missed that. These east coast weather-wimps. It makes me chuckle. I drove to campus around noontime (my class doesn't start until 3:30 today, fuel for the procrastinator in me), and listened to my audiobook on the way. It's actually not a bad commute. I tend to not take the 66 bypass because the traffic and unruly drivers can be obnoxious. Instead I opt for taking Lee Hwy all the way to Glebe (where my little school resides). The drive takes about 20-24 minutes, and aside from the many stoplights, the drive doesn't bother me one bit. It gives me just the right amount of time to say my prayers for the day and collect myself to gear up for the day.
You know that feeling you get when you get drawn into yourself maybe a millimeter deeper than usual, and you become daydreamy and nostalgic? You don't get sad, you get wistful. The most pleasant, self-indulgent kind of melancholy that tends to stick with you for the rest of the day. It's a selfish kind of forlorn; you reminisce about people and places, you tend to stare off with a dreamy look in your eye, then realize you look like an airhead, then make yourself turn from airhead to lunatic when you laugh audibly at yourself for spacing out. Every once in a while, though, I let myself indulge in the melancholy, for because just as loneliness threatens to interfere with the solace, hope jumps in to give your sentiments a glowy hue of promise.
Well, that's my rant for the day. I'm gonna go find a ladies room, smoke a cigarette (two separate endeavors, mind you), and go to class. Tally hoe! (where on earth does that expression come from?)
Happy Wednesday.
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Commuter Chronicles: Day 2 (and day one cont.)
Soooo, day one went swimmingly. My Fundamentals class was the typical first-day business-- going over the syllabus, asking a billion questions, etc. I like my professor, though, I'm excited about the course. All of the clinical stuff we'll be doing this semester is pretty much exactly what I had to learn to be a CNA, so I'm ready to knock it outta the park.
Back to what I was saying about having a renewed freedom and peace in life.
I embraced and discovered the true, pure, weightless freedom and peace that comes when you bare your soul to the Father. Coupled with a really excellent confession right before Christmas, and an abundance of prayer, the Lord has been so generous in providing for me. It rings true that when you offer up your worries, hopes, sorrows, dreams and struggles to the Lord, he absolutely provides for you. Psalm 37:3-4 says,
"Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
This passage speaks truly to what the Lord desires of us; to delight in him by giving our whole self over to the power of his clemency and power, and in turn, he delights in us and gives us the desires of our hearts. After I threw everything I had been going through and struggling with at His feet, the Lord was so amazingly quick to act, in ways I cannot even begin to describe. He opened so many doors that I thought I had permanently sealed shut because of my actions and choices. I gave him my darkness, and he dissolved it and replaced it with blinding, beautiful light. I am 600 miles away from home, from my amazing parents, my wonderful boyfriend, and yet I have never felt more close and secured to the people I love. God's mercy and love is pouring out from every corner of my little world, and I refuse to take Him for granted. I am striving to give every day to him, every conversation I have and every choice that I make, I want Him to be in every one. There is no happiness without the Father, nor can there be love. Because God IS love, personified in his son Jesus, and through the works of the Holy Spirit, he is ACTIVE, alive in this world, and to pretend that we can ignore it is foolish. I will foolishly love the Lord, and trust in him with everything. He is my captain and my companion, how blessed I am to have a friendship with Him. AAAAAAMEN!
Today I have two classes, Microbiology (yiiiikes, I'm scared for this one), and my Microbio Lab. I hope I have a good professor, they can make or break any given course. I have so much to do!!! I haven't bought any of my books yet, I need to figure out my uniform for clinicals (back in scrubs again, hooray!), I need to get CPR certified (I have no idea how I've made it this long without having done that…), and tons of other little nitpicky things that are annoying yet essential.
I'm ready to give my day to God and conquer my schoolwork and have good conversations and be productive!!! (If I succeed, I will high five myself.)
I hope everyone is having a happy happy Tuesday. If this is not the case, think of ten things in ordinary life that you are grateful for. Here, I'll do it to.
1. pillows
2. sunshine on front steps
3. H2O
4. parking spaces, no matter how far I have to walk
5. sunglasses
6. clean laundry
7. gazebos
8. nice security men
9. words
10. sharpies
There you go! It'll put you in a good mood if you think of ten things, I promise.
Until tomorrow!
MC
Back to what I was saying about having a renewed freedom and peace in life.
I embraced and discovered the true, pure, weightless freedom and peace that comes when you bare your soul to the Father. Coupled with a really excellent confession right before Christmas, and an abundance of prayer, the Lord has been so generous in providing for me. It rings true that when you offer up your worries, hopes, sorrows, dreams and struggles to the Lord, he absolutely provides for you. Psalm 37:3-4 says,
"Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
This passage speaks truly to what the Lord desires of us; to delight in him by giving our whole self over to the power of his clemency and power, and in turn, he delights in us and gives us the desires of our hearts. After I threw everything I had been going through and struggling with at His feet, the Lord was so amazingly quick to act, in ways I cannot even begin to describe. He opened so many doors that I thought I had permanently sealed shut because of my actions and choices. I gave him my darkness, and he dissolved it and replaced it with blinding, beautiful light. I am 600 miles away from home, from my amazing parents, my wonderful boyfriend, and yet I have never felt more close and secured to the people I love. God's mercy and love is pouring out from every corner of my little world, and I refuse to take Him for granted. I am striving to give every day to him, every conversation I have and every choice that I make, I want Him to be in every one. There is no happiness without the Father, nor can there be love. Because God IS love, personified in his son Jesus, and through the works of the Holy Spirit, he is ACTIVE, alive in this world, and to pretend that we can ignore it is foolish. I will foolishly love the Lord, and trust in him with everything. He is my captain and my companion, how blessed I am to have a friendship with Him. AAAAAAMEN!
Today I have two classes, Microbiology (yiiiikes, I'm scared for this one), and my Microbio Lab. I hope I have a good professor, they can make or break any given course. I have so much to do!!! I haven't bought any of my books yet, I need to figure out my uniform for clinicals (back in scrubs again, hooray!), I need to get CPR certified (I have no idea how I've made it this long without having done that…), and tons of other little nitpicky things that are annoying yet essential.
I'm ready to give my day to God and conquer my schoolwork and have good conversations and be productive!!! (If I succeed, I will high five myself.)
I hope everyone is having a happy happy Tuesday. If this is not the case, think of ten things in ordinary life that you are grateful for. Here, I'll do it to.
1. pillows
2. sunshine on front steps
3. H2O
4. parking spaces, no matter how far I have to walk
5. sunglasses
6. clean laundry
7. gazebos
8. nice security men
9. words
10. sharpies
There you go! It'll put you in a good mood if you think of ten things, I promise.
Until tomorrow!
MC
Monday, January 12, 2015
The Commuter Chronicles: Day 1
Goooooood morning!
Today is my first day of classes back at Marymount after a 3 year sabbatical, during which I worked as a CNA and learned a lot about life, love, the peaks and valleys of hardship, mistakes and how my decisions affect the ones around me. It was a tumultuous journey, very messy at times, but not completely void of happiness. The past three years have been essential to my growth as a person, a daughter and as a friend. Frankly, for most of this time, I failed to be a trustworthy person to the people who love me the most. I made choices that tore down and damaged relationships, and in turn, I lost a lot of integrity and self-respect. I had been following a path that darkened my life and clouded my judgment, but by the grace of God, I am finally facing the sunlight.
Although I hate the person I was, I love the person I am becoming. Never have I felt such peace in my life. This has everything to do with letting go of the control that I thought I had over everything in my life and giving the reins completely over to the Lord. The illusion, the lie I was living; telling myself over and over that I was in control, when all the while I let myself be slave to circumstance and foolish whims. I had no control, I lived minute by minute, grasping at fleeting moments that seduced me with their guise of fulfillment, only to immediately be thrown on my face and be consumed with regret after I let myself be lured. The emptiness of how I lived makes me sick at heart. I was the Enemy's favorite playground. I gave him every opportunity to be my puppeteer. Only after stepping back and realizing with disgust at the grotesque way I was living, did I finally relinquish everything to God. The result is a freedom that I can only express as dazzling.
Confession, prayer, honesty, and willingness to heed wise advice have quite literally saved me. The Lord has acted so fully and immediately in every facet of my life, and there are no words to express my gratitude. I am the happiest, lightest, most Mary I have ever felt. My cup overflows with lust for life, for God, for true friendships and love. My heart is so open, it bleeds and gushes a waterfall of happiness. How blessed am I.
To be continued, I am going to run outside and smoke a cigarette before I try to learn some Nursing Fundamentals.
Today is my first day of classes back at Marymount after a 3 year sabbatical, during which I worked as a CNA and learned a lot about life, love, the peaks and valleys of hardship, mistakes and how my decisions affect the ones around me. It was a tumultuous journey, very messy at times, but not completely void of happiness. The past three years have been essential to my growth as a person, a daughter and as a friend. Frankly, for most of this time, I failed to be a trustworthy person to the people who love me the most. I made choices that tore down and damaged relationships, and in turn, I lost a lot of integrity and self-respect. I had been following a path that darkened my life and clouded my judgment, but by the grace of God, I am finally facing the sunlight.
Although I hate the person I was, I love the person I am becoming. Never have I felt such peace in my life. This has everything to do with letting go of the control that I thought I had over everything in my life and giving the reins completely over to the Lord. The illusion, the lie I was living; telling myself over and over that I was in control, when all the while I let myself be slave to circumstance and foolish whims. I had no control, I lived minute by minute, grasping at fleeting moments that seduced me with their guise of fulfillment, only to immediately be thrown on my face and be consumed with regret after I let myself be lured. The emptiness of how I lived makes me sick at heart. I was the Enemy's favorite playground. I gave him every opportunity to be my puppeteer. Only after stepping back and realizing with disgust at the grotesque way I was living, did I finally relinquish everything to God. The result is a freedom that I can only express as dazzling.
Confession, prayer, honesty, and willingness to heed wise advice have quite literally saved me. The Lord has acted so fully and immediately in every facet of my life, and there are no words to express my gratitude. I am the happiest, lightest, most Mary I have ever felt. My cup overflows with lust for life, for God, for true friendships and love. My heart is so open, it bleeds and gushes a waterfall of happiness. How blessed am I.
To be continued, I am going to run outside and smoke a cigarette before I try to learn some Nursing Fundamentals.
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