Oh Life, you're so cool sometimes, let's be friends.

Well i visited Saint Mary's today and shadowed a nursing student. it was super interesting to see what the school is like from a student perspective, I liked it. I also got to miss school so that helped a little :)
I'm super excited because I get to go visit my sister Annie at IU this weekend! Yayyy, I never get to see her, so I'm super excited. im driving down with two of my besties too, so it should be a fantastic roadtrip as well. Fuunnnn yay. I have a whole week off school next week, so a bunch of my friends are coming in town and staying with me and im SO excited to see them all! I have amazing friends :)
my mom cleaned my room today and I feel like a new woman. Very empowered. I feel like I can like, run around my room and not trip over anything... which is perfectly true. i love having clean spaces. OH. and my drawers are organized. Is my mom a saint or what?
In other news, i am getting fed up with Descartes. His arguments are sooo frustrating!! and so hard to prove! Apparently he's like the king of logic, but nothing's seeming very logical to me... ohhh man. no fun. I'm sure Ill appreciate it later though.
For lent, I think Ive decided to not eat any sweets or after dinner and to run at least 4 times a week. Keep me honest people! I'm really wanting to follow through. Discipline is so good for me, as soon as I develop the habit haha.
As for tomorrow, MARDI GRAS! I hope you all are eating loads of king cake and finding creepy little gold babies in it. Party on.

Who I Am

I'm impatient with who I've made myself to be...
the true me seeps through my skin a beat too slowly to catch up with
the rest of my life's rhythm.
hurry, please hurry.
there is dark and there is light, there are frowns, smiles, and waning sunsets
waiting for me to capture with an eye, a camera lens, a memorized moment.
God, I want to fill the world with the entire
moon-ful of thoughts and adventures that fill my
inspired, chaotic head.
The beauty of this world astounds the breathe straight
from my chest every time I think about it.
For real, can you even begin to think about everything?
the whole world is breaking full of thoughts,
and you're only ONE of the gazillion thinkers.
I ache to project the person in my head who sees, cries at this crazy beautiful life,
embraces the chaos, and doesn't pretend to understand it.
I want you to know that it's me that
lets go
falls free and wild
shoots across ideas like a ricocheting bullet,
captivated by spontaneity.
Can we get lost on purpose?
I want to see where that dirt road takes me,
I'll just sit in a cornfield under the stars of a midwest summer
and let the fuzzy dusk seep into my skin like an ocean.
I wander and love the rush of not knowing where I am,
call it wanderlust, I'm addicted
to this feeling of wonder.
Can you see this me, the true, real, aching to break out of this skin, wanting to run
run with pounding, persistant, motivated steps?
Hear my inspiration thump and echo into the concrete under my feet,
you'll be amazed to see how much of myself is
carried in the beat.

My Happiness

it's when a scrap of construction paper is
faded and grayed by hours of stale, warm sunlight.
it's when a ten-color glint in a shard of broken glass
under dusty road pebbles nudged against the curb catches a tired eye.
it's when a crinkled, dry leaf slowly shrivels and smokes black
under a magnifying glass of a child giddy with curiosity.
it's when a face thick with sweat and salt breathes deep
after the last strides of a race have been run.
it's when the lens of a camera reveals a stunning angle
and you realize that ordinary is breathtaking and absolutely yours.
it's when midnight, snow-covered railroad tracks flooded in orange streetlight infuse your heart with
that sentiment of lonely, longing, mystery and
complete contentment
all at once.
it's when i see your face, your eyes in mine and i realize why i fell for you
and the echo of emptiness and acceptance
when I remember achingly that I did the right thing by letting you go.

it's when you realize that
the beauty, the simplicity, the heartbreak, the perseverance
all are what make your life
completely extraordinary.