Oh, goodness, I've neglected you again, little blog. That's okay, I'm certain no one reads you, unfortunately.
Well, it's a glum looking day outside, very grey and droopy. I made myself get up early today and start my day off with a good prayer time. I don't have class until 3:30 today, so I had little motivation to roll out of bed at 8am, but I am very glad that I did! I'm trying to develop new grown up habits, starting with a morning ritual. I just think that any given day will go better if I have a set routine. Soooo, hooray for day number one!
I straightened my hair today just because I could. I keep forgetting how short it is! I miss my long hair sometimes. But, I won't dwell on vanity today! Today's for giving.
What do you want to accomplish today? If you were at your best right now, what would you be doing? What makes you tick?
I'm offering up my day to the Lord. I want him in my thoughts and conversations and choices, in the classroom and in my car when I drive. Ill choose to not to be wistful on this gloomy Wednesday, and instead I'll make some homemade sunshine.
Here's to a rockin' day! Pay it forward, smile, be bold and love well.
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Commuter Chronicles: Day 3
I found a deliciously close parking spot today! Somehow it just made this otherwise quite and cloudy day a happy and light one.
So this past Monday, I showed up for my Clinical Nutrition course, and with the exception of one other student, no one showed up, not even the professor. I've been spending my day trying to figure out what the heck is going on… because there's no way on God's green earth that I am paying for a class that seemingly does not exist. Twas very curious, it was. Let's cross our fingers and toes that this gets resolved!
I spent 90 dollars in the bookstore today. Damn the textbooks that are custom-written for specific courses! My wallet is hungry.
There is little to say about today. As I said, it's a bit gloomy outside. There was a powdered-sugar dusting of snow on the ground this morning, which from my understanding thwarted the masses that commute in the DC Metro area, and the traffic was a chaotic mess. Glad I missed that. These east coast weather-wimps. It makes me chuckle. I drove to campus around noontime (my class doesn't start until 3:30 today, fuel for the procrastinator in me), and listened to my audiobook on the way. It's actually not a bad commute. I tend to not take the 66 bypass because the traffic and unruly drivers can be obnoxious. Instead I opt for taking Lee Hwy all the way to Glebe (where my little school resides). The drive takes about 20-24 minutes, and aside from the many stoplights, the drive doesn't bother me one bit. It gives me just the right amount of time to say my prayers for the day and collect myself to gear up for the day.
You know that feeling you get when you get drawn into yourself maybe a millimeter deeper than usual, and you become daydreamy and nostalgic? You don't get sad, you get wistful. The most pleasant, self-indulgent kind of melancholy that tends to stick with you for the rest of the day. It's a selfish kind of forlorn; you reminisce about people and places, you tend to stare off with a dreamy look in your eye, then realize you look like an airhead, then make yourself turn from airhead to lunatic when you laugh audibly at yourself for spacing out. Every once in a while, though, I let myself indulge in the melancholy, for because just as loneliness threatens to interfere with the solace, hope jumps in to give your sentiments a glowy hue of promise.
Well, that's my rant for the day. I'm gonna go find a ladies room, smoke a cigarette (two separate endeavors, mind you), and go to class. Tally hoe! (where on earth does that expression come from?)
Happy Wednesday.
So this past Monday, I showed up for my Clinical Nutrition course, and with the exception of one other student, no one showed up, not even the professor. I've been spending my day trying to figure out what the heck is going on… because there's no way on God's green earth that I am paying for a class that seemingly does not exist. Twas very curious, it was. Let's cross our fingers and toes that this gets resolved!
I spent 90 dollars in the bookstore today. Damn the textbooks that are custom-written for specific courses! My wallet is hungry.
There is little to say about today. As I said, it's a bit gloomy outside. There was a powdered-sugar dusting of snow on the ground this morning, which from my understanding thwarted the masses that commute in the DC Metro area, and the traffic was a chaotic mess. Glad I missed that. These east coast weather-wimps. It makes me chuckle. I drove to campus around noontime (my class doesn't start until 3:30 today, fuel for the procrastinator in me), and listened to my audiobook on the way. It's actually not a bad commute. I tend to not take the 66 bypass because the traffic and unruly drivers can be obnoxious. Instead I opt for taking Lee Hwy all the way to Glebe (where my little school resides). The drive takes about 20-24 minutes, and aside from the many stoplights, the drive doesn't bother me one bit. It gives me just the right amount of time to say my prayers for the day and collect myself to gear up for the day.
You know that feeling you get when you get drawn into yourself maybe a millimeter deeper than usual, and you become daydreamy and nostalgic? You don't get sad, you get wistful. The most pleasant, self-indulgent kind of melancholy that tends to stick with you for the rest of the day. It's a selfish kind of forlorn; you reminisce about people and places, you tend to stare off with a dreamy look in your eye, then realize you look like an airhead, then make yourself turn from airhead to lunatic when you laugh audibly at yourself for spacing out. Every once in a while, though, I let myself indulge in the melancholy, for because just as loneliness threatens to interfere with the solace, hope jumps in to give your sentiments a glowy hue of promise.
Well, that's my rant for the day. I'm gonna go find a ladies room, smoke a cigarette (two separate endeavors, mind you), and go to class. Tally hoe! (where on earth does that expression come from?)
Happy Wednesday.
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Commuter Chronicles: Day 2 (and day one cont.)
Soooo, day one went swimmingly. My Fundamentals class was the typical first-day business-- going over the syllabus, asking a billion questions, etc. I like my professor, though, I'm excited about the course. All of the clinical stuff we'll be doing this semester is pretty much exactly what I had to learn to be a CNA, so I'm ready to knock it outta the park.
Back to what I was saying about having a renewed freedom and peace in life.
I embraced and discovered the true, pure, weightless freedom and peace that comes when you bare your soul to the Father. Coupled with a really excellent confession right before Christmas, and an abundance of prayer, the Lord has been so generous in providing for me. It rings true that when you offer up your worries, hopes, sorrows, dreams and struggles to the Lord, he absolutely provides for you. Psalm 37:3-4 says,
"Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
This passage speaks truly to what the Lord desires of us; to delight in him by giving our whole self over to the power of his clemency and power, and in turn, he delights in us and gives us the desires of our hearts. After I threw everything I had been going through and struggling with at His feet, the Lord was so amazingly quick to act, in ways I cannot even begin to describe. He opened so many doors that I thought I had permanently sealed shut because of my actions and choices. I gave him my darkness, and he dissolved it and replaced it with blinding, beautiful light. I am 600 miles away from home, from my amazing parents, my wonderful boyfriend, and yet I have never felt more close and secured to the people I love. God's mercy and love is pouring out from every corner of my little world, and I refuse to take Him for granted. I am striving to give every day to him, every conversation I have and every choice that I make, I want Him to be in every one. There is no happiness without the Father, nor can there be love. Because God IS love, personified in his son Jesus, and through the works of the Holy Spirit, he is ACTIVE, alive in this world, and to pretend that we can ignore it is foolish. I will foolishly love the Lord, and trust in him with everything. He is my captain and my companion, how blessed I am to have a friendship with Him. AAAAAAMEN!
Today I have two classes, Microbiology (yiiiikes, I'm scared for this one), and my Microbio Lab. I hope I have a good professor, they can make or break any given course. I have so much to do!!! I haven't bought any of my books yet, I need to figure out my uniform for clinicals (back in scrubs again, hooray!), I need to get CPR certified (I have no idea how I've made it this long without having done that…), and tons of other little nitpicky things that are annoying yet essential.
I'm ready to give my day to God and conquer my schoolwork and have good conversations and be productive!!! (If I succeed, I will high five myself.)
I hope everyone is having a happy happy Tuesday. If this is not the case, think of ten things in ordinary life that you are grateful for. Here, I'll do it to.
1. pillows
2. sunshine on front steps
3. H2O
4. parking spaces, no matter how far I have to walk
5. sunglasses
6. clean laundry
7. gazebos
8. nice security men
9. words
10. sharpies
There you go! It'll put you in a good mood if you think of ten things, I promise.
Until tomorrow!
MC
Back to what I was saying about having a renewed freedom and peace in life.
I embraced and discovered the true, pure, weightless freedom and peace that comes when you bare your soul to the Father. Coupled with a really excellent confession right before Christmas, and an abundance of prayer, the Lord has been so generous in providing for me. It rings true that when you offer up your worries, hopes, sorrows, dreams and struggles to the Lord, he absolutely provides for you. Psalm 37:3-4 says,
"Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
This passage speaks truly to what the Lord desires of us; to delight in him by giving our whole self over to the power of his clemency and power, and in turn, he delights in us and gives us the desires of our hearts. After I threw everything I had been going through and struggling with at His feet, the Lord was so amazingly quick to act, in ways I cannot even begin to describe. He opened so many doors that I thought I had permanently sealed shut because of my actions and choices. I gave him my darkness, and he dissolved it and replaced it with blinding, beautiful light. I am 600 miles away from home, from my amazing parents, my wonderful boyfriend, and yet I have never felt more close and secured to the people I love. God's mercy and love is pouring out from every corner of my little world, and I refuse to take Him for granted. I am striving to give every day to him, every conversation I have and every choice that I make, I want Him to be in every one. There is no happiness without the Father, nor can there be love. Because God IS love, personified in his son Jesus, and through the works of the Holy Spirit, he is ACTIVE, alive in this world, and to pretend that we can ignore it is foolish. I will foolishly love the Lord, and trust in him with everything. He is my captain and my companion, how blessed I am to have a friendship with Him. AAAAAAMEN!
Today I have two classes, Microbiology (yiiiikes, I'm scared for this one), and my Microbio Lab. I hope I have a good professor, they can make or break any given course. I have so much to do!!! I haven't bought any of my books yet, I need to figure out my uniform for clinicals (back in scrubs again, hooray!), I need to get CPR certified (I have no idea how I've made it this long without having done that…), and tons of other little nitpicky things that are annoying yet essential.
I'm ready to give my day to God and conquer my schoolwork and have good conversations and be productive!!! (If I succeed, I will high five myself.)
I hope everyone is having a happy happy Tuesday. If this is not the case, think of ten things in ordinary life that you are grateful for. Here, I'll do it to.
1. pillows
2. sunshine on front steps
3. H2O
4. parking spaces, no matter how far I have to walk
5. sunglasses
6. clean laundry
7. gazebos
8. nice security men
9. words
10. sharpies
There you go! It'll put you in a good mood if you think of ten things, I promise.
Until tomorrow!
MC
Monday, January 12, 2015
The Commuter Chronicles: Day 1
Goooooood morning!
Today is my first day of classes back at Marymount after a 3 year sabbatical, during which I worked as a CNA and learned a lot about life, love, the peaks and valleys of hardship, mistakes and how my decisions affect the ones around me. It was a tumultuous journey, very messy at times, but not completely void of happiness. The past three years have been essential to my growth as a person, a daughter and as a friend. Frankly, for most of this time, I failed to be a trustworthy person to the people who love me the most. I made choices that tore down and damaged relationships, and in turn, I lost a lot of integrity and self-respect. I had been following a path that darkened my life and clouded my judgment, but by the grace of God, I am finally facing the sunlight.
Although I hate the person I was, I love the person I am becoming. Never have I felt such peace in my life. This has everything to do with letting go of the control that I thought I had over everything in my life and giving the reins completely over to the Lord. The illusion, the lie I was living; telling myself over and over that I was in control, when all the while I let myself be slave to circumstance and foolish whims. I had no control, I lived minute by minute, grasping at fleeting moments that seduced me with their guise of fulfillment, only to immediately be thrown on my face and be consumed with regret after I let myself be lured. The emptiness of how I lived makes me sick at heart. I was the Enemy's favorite playground. I gave him every opportunity to be my puppeteer. Only after stepping back and realizing with disgust at the grotesque way I was living, did I finally relinquish everything to God. The result is a freedom that I can only express as dazzling.
Confession, prayer, honesty, and willingness to heed wise advice have quite literally saved me. The Lord has acted so fully and immediately in every facet of my life, and there are no words to express my gratitude. I am the happiest, lightest, most Mary I have ever felt. My cup overflows with lust for life, for God, for true friendships and love. My heart is so open, it bleeds and gushes a waterfall of happiness. How blessed am I.
To be continued, I am going to run outside and smoke a cigarette before I try to learn some Nursing Fundamentals.
Today is my first day of classes back at Marymount after a 3 year sabbatical, during which I worked as a CNA and learned a lot about life, love, the peaks and valleys of hardship, mistakes and how my decisions affect the ones around me. It was a tumultuous journey, very messy at times, but not completely void of happiness. The past three years have been essential to my growth as a person, a daughter and as a friend. Frankly, for most of this time, I failed to be a trustworthy person to the people who love me the most. I made choices that tore down and damaged relationships, and in turn, I lost a lot of integrity and self-respect. I had been following a path that darkened my life and clouded my judgment, but by the grace of God, I am finally facing the sunlight.
Although I hate the person I was, I love the person I am becoming. Never have I felt such peace in my life. This has everything to do with letting go of the control that I thought I had over everything in my life and giving the reins completely over to the Lord. The illusion, the lie I was living; telling myself over and over that I was in control, when all the while I let myself be slave to circumstance and foolish whims. I had no control, I lived minute by minute, grasping at fleeting moments that seduced me with their guise of fulfillment, only to immediately be thrown on my face and be consumed with regret after I let myself be lured. The emptiness of how I lived makes me sick at heart. I was the Enemy's favorite playground. I gave him every opportunity to be my puppeteer. Only after stepping back and realizing with disgust at the grotesque way I was living, did I finally relinquish everything to God. The result is a freedom that I can only express as dazzling.
Confession, prayer, honesty, and willingness to heed wise advice have quite literally saved me. The Lord has acted so fully and immediately in every facet of my life, and there are no words to express my gratitude. I am the happiest, lightest, most Mary I have ever felt. My cup overflows with lust for life, for God, for true friendships and love. My heart is so open, it bleeds and gushes a waterfall of happiness. How blessed am I.
To be continued, I am going to run outside and smoke a cigarette before I try to learn some Nursing Fundamentals.
Monday, November 18, 2013
I lost my electricity, so I ramble about old people
Oh to be without electricity. Mother nature seems to be reluctant to hand over fall to winter, as severe tornado weather has just eaten up a good bit of the upper midwest. Thank goodness my family's home was free of damage, in a neighborhood full of felled trees and split power lines. No power seems like a pretty fair situation given the surrounding circumstances. I am currently sitting in a Martin's Deli using their internet and sipping on a giant Peach Snapple. I guess I have no complaints.
I have to leave for work soon... oh work. It's gonna be a brutal Monday, I think. Considering that there was a full moon last night, I have a sneaking suspicion that I will arrive at work with the news that one of my residents died, or people will simply be acting wacky. The whole "must be a full moon" thing when life seems funky is actually no joke. It coincides every time. Weird, huh? But true.
Life is a twisty whirlwind these days as work has picked up and life continues to barrel ahead clumsily, but at least it's covering some ground. I work at a wonderful nursing home in Elkhart, IN. I say "wonderful" because not only are the people I work with excellent, but the facility itself is just nice. It doesn't have that quintessential "nursing home smell." Instead of feeling stark with a faux-sterile smelling atmosphere, it's warm. The colors, the smells, the people, the vibe. I'm so grateful.
Working with old people was never something I expected to do. Frankly, old people always scared me, made me feel wildly uncomfortable and sheepish. But, for some reason, I find myself surrounded by them, filled with an unconditional desire to care for them, comfort them, and love them. It's got to be God, that's all I have to say. Most of my residents are over 90 years old, and then a lot of them are over 100. Isn't that incredible?? One of my favorite residents (shh, don't tell) is 104. She is adorable, never stops talking, and kisses me on the cheek. You'll find so many kinds of personalities in old people. There are the ones who have, for lack of a better phrase, "made friends" with their situation-- being completely dependent on other people to get through daily life activities. The ones who accept their care with (what has GOT to be a huge amount of humility) and graciousness. Then, there are the ones who just don't want to be there. The ones whose eyes have lost a luster for life, the lightless ones. These people will either vocalize their frustration with living and make it known that they just want to die, or, in many cases, they just won't say anything. The ones who stay silent are the ones that break my heart the most. Albeit, it's all heartbreaking. In a very short time, I've lost my heart to these people. The sad ones, the silly ones, the mournful and the peaceful. They all have his or her own cross that I imagine is nearly impossible to bear. Most of us can share our burdens, whether through conversation or physical interaction with our peers. Imagine being able to do neither, to be trapped in a body that doesn't work, yet having a mind that is alive and more or less perfect. They have a special kind of suffering. I think they are one of the Devil's favorite playgrounds. There are certainly a lot of cracks where the Enemy's poisons of deception and despair can easily seep. I pray for these people almost constantly. Everyone should.
Well, time is getting away from me, I need to pack up and head to work.
Here's to everyone having a Monday that makes you think. Challenge for today: Don't complain about anything. There are too many people who have troubles that I cannot even begin to know how to empathize. I am alive, healthy, free, happy, blessed, and loved. Oh how much I have.
Until we meet again, little neglected blog.
I have to leave for work soon... oh work. It's gonna be a brutal Monday, I think. Considering that there was a full moon last night, I have a sneaking suspicion that I will arrive at work with the news that one of my residents died, or people will simply be acting wacky. The whole "must be a full moon" thing when life seems funky is actually no joke. It coincides every time. Weird, huh? But true.
Life is a twisty whirlwind these days as work has picked up and life continues to barrel ahead clumsily, but at least it's covering some ground. I work at a wonderful nursing home in Elkhart, IN. I say "wonderful" because not only are the people I work with excellent, but the facility itself is just nice. It doesn't have that quintessential "nursing home smell." Instead of feeling stark with a faux-sterile smelling atmosphere, it's warm. The colors, the smells, the people, the vibe. I'm so grateful.
Working with old people was never something I expected to do. Frankly, old people always scared me, made me feel wildly uncomfortable and sheepish. But, for some reason, I find myself surrounded by them, filled with an unconditional desire to care for them, comfort them, and love them. It's got to be God, that's all I have to say. Most of my residents are over 90 years old, and then a lot of them are over 100. Isn't that incredible?? One of my favorite residents (shh, don't tell) is 104. She is adorable, never stops talking, and kisses me on the cheek. You'll find so many kinds of personalities in old people. There are the ones who have, for lack of a better phrase, "made friends" with their situation-- being completely dependent on other people to get through daily life activities. The ones who accept their care with (what has GOT to be a huge amount of humility) and graciousness. Then, there are the ones who just don't want to be there. The ones whose eyes have lost a luster for life, the lightless ones. These people will either vocalize their frustration with living and make it known that they just want to die, or, in many cases, they just won't say anything. The ones who stay silent are the ones that break my heart the most. Albeit, it's all heartbreaking. In a very short time, I've lost my heart to these people. The sad ones, the silly ones, the mournful and the peaceful. They all have his or her own cross that I imagine is nearly impossible to bear. Most of us can share our burdens, whether through conversation or physical interaction with our peers. Imagine being able to do neither, to be trapped in a body that doesn't work, yet having a mind that is alive and more or less perfect. They have a special kind of suffering. I think they are one of the Devil's favorite playgrounds. There are certainly a lot of cracks where the Enemy's poisons of deception and despair can easily seep. I pray for these people almost constantly. Everyone should.
Well, time is getting away from me, I need to pack up and head to work.
Here's to everyone having a Monday that makes you think. Challenge for today: Don't complain about anything. There are too many people who have troubles that I cannot even begin to know how to empathize. I am alive, healthy, free, happy, blessed, and loved. Oh how much I have.
Until we meet again, little neglected blog.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Gratefuls
A: Audiobooks
B: Bridget Feeks
C: Cousins
D: Determination
E: Employment!!!
F: Finishing clinicals
G: Generosity
H: Health
I: Intelligent conversation
J: Jokes
K: Kicks. The kind you wear on your feet.
L: Love, everywhere.
M: Mercy
N: Naked Juice
O: Occasions to sing for no reason.
P: Parents and their wisdom
Q: Q....uidditch
R: Rest
S: Scrubs
T: Teachers
U: Understanding
V: Victory
W: Winning at life
X: marks the spot
Y: Youth and its opportunities
Z: Zoom
B: Bridget Feeks
C: Cousins
D: Determination
E: Employment!!!
F: Finishing clinicals
G: Generosity
H: Health
I: Intelligent conversation
J: Jokes
K: Kicks. The kind you wear on your feet.
L: Love, everywhere.
M: Mercy
N: Naked Juice
O: Occasions to sing for no reason.
P: Parents and their wisdom
Q: Q....uidditch
R: Rest
S: Scrubs
T: Teachers
U: Understanding
V: Victory
W: Winning at life
X: marks the spot
Y: Youth and its opportunities
Z: Zoom
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
26 Grateful-fors
Hello, sunny Tuesday. You're lovely, nonchalant and whimsical. It's one of those days that the sun has a mirror effect on the trees, all shiny and dazzling. I'd like it to be September always.
Quick life update: I will be starting a 3 week CNA [Certified Nursing Assistant] training program this coming Monday. The gist of it is this: One week of classes, two weeks of clinicals. After those 3 weeks, I will take a state-certified exam in two portions, and if I pass, I'm certified! Ta-da! I'm pretty excited to start this chapter of my life. What's funny is that I feel like I've been waiting forever to get my foot in the nursing door, and ultimately made this simple choice to be a CNA before finishing my RN degree. Funny how life twists your arm sometimes. Anyway, I'm so ready for what will be a very scrub-clad existence.
As for the title of this post, I've decided to try and do at least a weekly "ABC list of things to be grateful for." My challenge will be not to repeat my list items. Here goes.
A: Autumn. It's so lovely.
B: Ball-point pens.
C: Chapstick.
D: Driving.
E: Eating.
F: Family [original, I know]
G: God.
H: Highway sunrises.
I: Internet
J: Joy
K: Koala bear hugs from babies
L: Lancelot
M: Marlboro
N: Novels
O: Overcoming Obstacles [do I get 2 points for this one?]
P: Paper
Q: Questions that make me think
R: Reading
S: Stationary
T: Talking
U: Underwear [I mean, right?]
V: Very awesome life
W: Wine
X: sorry, x-rays, I don't like you, but you're the only X I can think of right now.
Y: Youth
Z: Zzz's
Okay, that may have been very lame, but at least I did it! I'm sure my lists will improve as time goes on. With the danger of letting myself start a long ramble, I think I'll leave this post be. I'm glad I'm Tuesdaying happily.
Quick life update: I will be starting a 3 week CNA [Certified Nursing Assistant] training program this coming Monday. The gist of it is this: One week of classes, two weeks of clinicals. After those 3 weeks, I will take a state-certified exam in two portions, and if I pass, I'm certified! Ta-da! I'm pretty excited to start this chapter of my life. What's funny is that I feel like I've been waiting forever to get my foot in the nursing door, and ultimately made this simple choice to be a CNA before finishing my RN degree. Funny how life twists your arm sometimes. Anyway, I'm so ready for what will be a very scrub-clad existence.
As for the title of this post, I've decided to try and do at least a weekly "ABC list of things to be grateful for." My challenge will be not to repeat my list items. Here goes.
A: Autumn. It's so lovely.
B: Ball-point pens.
C: Chapstick.
D: Driving.
E: Eating.
F: Family [original, I know]
G: God.
H: Highway sunrises.
I: Internet
J: Joy
K: Koala bear hugs from babies
L: Lancelot
M: Marlboro
N: Novels
O: Overcoming Obstacles [do I get 2 points for this one?]
P: Paper
Q: Questions that make me think
R: Reading
S: Stationary
T: Talking
U: Underwear [I mean, right?]
V: Very awesome life
W: Wine
X: sorry, x-rays, I don't like you, but you're the only X I can think of right now.
Y: Youth
Z: Zzz's
Okay, that may have been very lame, but at least I did it! I'm sure my lists will improve as time goes on. With the danger of letting myself start a long ramble, I think I'll leave this post be. I'm glad I'm Tuesdaying happily.
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