Life is gooooooooooood, decidedly.

I keep having WOW GOD IS AMAZING moments.

I've been talking to a friend who's struggling with her pace of life right now and dealing with frustrations with school and work and a lot of other things. I wrote her a letter yesterday and sent it today. Contained in that letter were some of the very words I saw her say TODAY after she prayed about her situation. It's amazing how God just re-emphasizes his love for us through simple, amazing things like conversations and letters. He loves us so much.

I ran three miles the other day and it felt wonnnnderful. My parents gave me new running shoes for my birthday and I just got them on Friday, so it was my first run in them. It was beautiful.

I had a ridiculous chemistry exam today. I stayed up until two in the morning to study for it. I was up by 7:30 to take it at 8. I think it went alright, but LITERALLY no one knew what the heck the last page was about. No one. Not even the thirty-some year old guy who's a real nurse didnt know what she meant. So we are all hoping that Dear Darling Professor Medhurst will be magical and just not count the last page because evvvvverybody bombed it. Fun stuff.

I have a B- in PHILOSOPHY. What the heeeeckkk? I took SO much philosophy in high school and now suddenly we have multiple choice tests about Plato and Descartes??? There is something really, really absurd about that. Give me a seminar table, not a fill in the bubble test.

It's a stunning Thursday. I really like Thursdays because I am done with classes by twelve fifteen and I only work from 2-4. It's a perfect little running window from 4-5 and then I can shower and be ready to eat by like 6. I just like Thursdays. Plus, outside is AMAZING. It was nasty and rainy and warm and humid yesterday and everywhere was HOT and stuffy and gross. But today is perfect, breezy, and crystal clear. I like it.

I got a paycheck in the mail today.
I mailed a package to my beautiful besty.
I successfully discussed a book I had never opened.
I tried a new kind of sushi.
I straightened my hair, and it looks weird.
I'm getting SO excited to see my family and friends at Thanksgiving. so excited.

I'm just grateful for everything today. I wish I had more time to get work done and not have to stress about registration deadlines and test grades right now, but hey, it all works out. No one got stuck in one place in their life forever because of a B- in philosophy or a late registration. At least not stuck very long. I have hope in me.
I have way too much sunshine and fiery fall trees to complain about anything.

I don't deserve her.

"you are beautiful. and amazing. and exactly what arlington needs, my friend. you are the sandpaper, the catalyst for change. like i said, satan doesn't want you to believe that. he wants you to think you aren't capable of sticking to yourself. but you ARE capable. bottom line. and you ARE sticking to yourself. and that is incredible." -Valerie Carnevale


I have an incredible best friend who always keeps me sane. I don't even know what to say, I am so blessed. Thank you for being absolutely, astoundingly amazing, Val.

We're gonna show this town how to kiss these stars

It's amazing outside, I'm looking out my window, and it's clear, absolutely see-through sunshine. Know what I mean? Sunshiney days can be hazy or whatever, but today is needle-sharp and whistle clear. I love it :) It's kinda chilly outside, but it's the kind of weather that makes you neverever wanna go inside. I'm obsessed with today.
Storytime!
So last night I was all depressed cause I had to study for a philosophy midterm and it was all shplahh and blahh and I didn't know what to study, and then my friends suggested we stargaze. WHATTT. okay, best idea on the PLANET. we took our backpacks out to the lacrosse/soccer field, laid down, and watched those stars. Apparently there was supposed to be a meteor shower, but the meteors were a lil shy. Aside from the lack of shooting stars, last night was bomb. It was freezing cold, no one was warm enough, we all snuggled under blankets with eachother and sang songs and had dance parties to "we speak no americano" and high school musical. It was a beautiful thing. And then boys started playing soccer, and there was kettle corn and chocolate milk and grasshopper cookies and blankets in a bag and michael jackson and footie pajamas and thermals. It was just a whole lot of fantastic nonsense, I love my friends.
After stargazing shenanigans, Jaime and I went to study for out midterm [keep in mind that its about 1:45am by this time]. We went to the honors lounge, dealt with some girls who apparently had nothing better to do than watch an elephant mating special on the discovery channel? That was awkward. Then we heart to hearted and vending machine adventured and facebook stalked AND got some studying done. It was priceless, like mastercard.
I GOT NEW RUNNING SHOES YESTERDAY!!!!
they have pink on them, which i totally thought wasn't my style but my mom said they're pretty. I think ANY spankin new pair of running shoes is pretty. I am so excited to break these babies in. I wanna keep track of how many miles I run in them. This is my second real pair of running shoes. My first pair is DONE, so worn out. They were my first pair of shoes I bought for the sole purpose of running. I fell in love with running in those shoes, it's a bittersweet goodbye. Hah, just kidding, they are old and nasty.
My mom's picking me up this afternoon and we're hanging out, going on a date, it's gonna be fuun. I love my mom, she is just the best, I'm so lucky. Today, my friendboys asked me if my mom was "cool like me" and I was like "whaaat?" and they said "you know, crazy, goofy, nice" and I said ohhhh yes, yes she is. She is way cooler than me. I don't know if anyone is cooler than my mom, for the sole reason that she knows how to love people better than I could ever hope to. She's a complete rockstar, I give her like a million points.
IM OUT. Imma go on a walk with Jaime because today is perfection.

Zero complaints, this life is way too awesome.

I'd like to be astounding like my best friend Valerie. Shoutout-- no matter what you're writing about, Valpants, your posts make me cry every time. No matter what.

Sometimes I let myself feel too much, I think. Is is dangerous to be so profoundly affected by everything around me? I'm starting to wonder. I ache for other people's problems and sometimes I don't even stop to examine my own. I just spend time trying to figure out why I FEEL the way I do, rather than acting on what my heart is asking me. There is always a reason. I may not know why I'm saddened by some of the behavior of people around me or confused when people can't understand me or feeling isolated even when I'm surrounded by infinity people who love me, but I do sometimes. I really do. But I'm not feeling this way for no reason, there's always God behind everything, every human experience. I've made a decision. When I doubt, I'm committing to love. It's the most real, unstoppable, omnipotent thing I know. To love is to be like God. How much more could I ask for? It doesn't cost anything, only the willingness of my heart and my mind. Such a gift, such an incredible gift, love. I was created to love unconditionally.

Every time I look at my wrists, I smile. They are FULL of bracelets. On my left wrist, I have 3 silly bands (a cow, a hippo and a flamingo, all from Valerie), a friendship bracelet from Heidi, one from Valerie, one from Jake and one from Simon. I'm also wearing my precious Peru bracelet from Valerie. On my right wrist I have friendship bracelets from Val, Gracie, and Roger. And a cool Jamaican one I bought for myself. My heart is happy because I carry my friends everywhere I go :]

I get to see my mom this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's kind of my best friend, and I haven't seen her since August 24th. I'm going to cry happy tears when she gets here.

Sometimes all I want to do is sing.
I'm having a really awkward hair day.
I have far too many post-it notes everywhere.
It just occurred to me that no one's going to wash my dishes for me so I prolly should.
I reeeeeallllly want to run outside today. It's a blustery, sunny, crispy fall day outside and I'm in love with it.
I played pickup soccer with about 20 boys the other night. I'm sore.
I'm considering making it free hug day. I think hugs are just the best, everyone should be getting them.
The fridge in my dorm has been completely empty for about two weeks.
I really appreciate thumb tacks.
I realized yesterday that I don't have a coat
Cardigans are the bomb dot com. Especially ones that are four dollars at goodwill.
Goal for the day: zero disappointment in myself. Today started off with a beautiful walk to my chem class, I offered my day to God, and it's gonna stay that way. Zero complaints, nothing but sunshine and love for this life. I got this.

The world gave me a hug today

I want to go apple picking right now.
Today is one of those days that when you step outside, you're immediately 5 years old again. It's '96 and you're in stretch pants and velcro shoes and your hair is crazy because you were running away when your mom was trying to pull it back into a ponytail. You're wearing a too-colorful windbreaker and it doesn't ever match anything. You're outside your white house with the black mailbox and the sound of leaf blowers is everywhere. The leaves are so many colors, and they're everywhere, and the smell is all fall and pumpkins and cold ears and tree forts and jumping in leaf piles with a snotty nose. Stepping outside today took me back to being little, and I loved that.
Days like today just make me want to lie down, in a field, in sweatpants and a huge hoodie, even though I'm not quite warm enough, and watch the sky. I don't care if my nose is cold or my cheeks are red or my eyes are watery. I just want the flood of colorful trees to be above my eyes in every direction, and the airplanes lines to draw pictures in between them, and the smell of fall surrounding me. I love today.
So, my agenda for the next few weeks, a sort of october-november bucket list, if you will, is as follows:
Go apple picking! Somehow, somewhere. It's just necessary.
Have a bonfire. My soul needs bonfiring.
Make pumpkin bread or pumkin pie!
CARVE PUMPKINS
buy boots, because it's starting to be the time when flip flops stop being socially acceptable no matter how far I push the envelope.

It's a beautiful day, don't you dare let it get away without you letting it give you a hug. Because if you stop and appreciate it, that's actually what it feels like. The world gave me a hug today.

No one is a failure who has friends.

I am so lucky to have such amazing friends who drive me to their house at 2 in the morning and give me pep talks about life and give me cupcakes and still love me even though i'm a complete psycho sometimes and will talk to me on the phone for hours just 'cause i need it and who constantly remind me how amazing my life is and will sit outside with me in the blustery weather and bond over caramel corn and let me sit in their dorms when I'm locked out and most of all just love me.
I am so loved. And it astounds me.
I need sleep, I don't feel well, I have homework to do but I'm completely peaceful right now. God has put so many incredible people in my life and he has been so attentive to me through them lately. Here are some shout outs to people who have been amazing lately;
Mom, Valerie, Jaime, Katrina, Emily, Jake, Rachel, Chelsea, Ashaunte, Mike, Jonathan, Jordan, Johanna, Renee, Katie, Liz, Becca, and the little lady from PNC! And a gazillion others that I just dont have time to list.
I am the luckiest, this life is so rad.

Jesus=little South American Lady bank teller? Probably.

I am living my life like it's shot from a gun. Jason Aldean knows what he's singing about in his song "On My Highway." I feel like the yellow lines on my highway fade from time to time. Right now, going straight is really difficult. I feel like if life was a car, I'd be a really sleepy driver behind the wheel, constantly nodding my head, trying to stay alert. I'm kind of struggling. My head is so full of ideas and thoughts and experiences that I have and haven't had and words and letters I want to write and conversations I need to have and papers I need to write and songs I want to sing and poems I want to write and work that I need done and runs I haven't run but need to so badly. My mind is a jigsaw puzzle that just got knocked off the dining room table, and now I'm all jumbled and it feels like I'm the kindergartner sitting crisscross applesauce on the floor trying to put it all back together. Haha, that's actually exactly how I feel. But ya want to hear a cool story? Okay here goes:
So yesterday I went to the bank to make some deposits. Keep in mind what I just said before about feeling like a compromised mess for so many unknown reasons. I walked into the doors at PNC and this little South American lady was at the desk to greet me. The first thing she said was "My goodness, aren't you lovely." It took me a little off guard but I thanked her a lot. We kept talking as she was doing my paperwork and I told her that I was from Indiana and that living in DC was so much different from home because it's so full of soo many different kinds of people, etc. She asked me where I went to school and what I was studying. I told her that I went to Marymount and I'm studying nursing. She kind of stopped what she was doing for a second and looked at me and said "you know... I could kind of tell. Right when you walked in, I saw it in your lovely face and in your eyes that you love to help people. It's such a gift, that's so good. You know, when you're sick, and you wake up and see a face like yours, you know you're going to be okay." I was kind of shocked, but in a good way. I said something like "oh my gosh, thank you so much! That's so encouraging, I really appreciate you saying that!" Then she went on to say this, which is my main lkjabkfdnskWOW part of the story. She said, "Mary, don't let this area change you. It tends to change people, but don't you let it change you. You're here for so much good, never lose sight of who you are, never forget yourself because you have so much to give as yourself." WHAT? Okay, this is my BANK TELLER, not a priest, not a best friend, not a counselor, she's my bank teller! I can't even tell you how amazed and grateful beyond belief I was. After thanking her and hugging her, I walked out of the bank with misty eyes. I am here for so much good. To let myself change, to let myself be negatively affected by where I am would be an incredible loss for so many reasons. I am blessed with this life, this crazy, wild, tie-dye of opportunities to breathe, create, help and serve, learn and grow, and BECOME more myself. What a gift we're given. What a sadness to lose sight of it. I am here to be challenged. This life is not supposed to be easy. We are meant to question ourselves because it makes us stronger in our convictions to be who we are called to be. Who else am I other than Mary Christeta, a nineteen year old freshmen nursing major at Marymount University from South Bend Indiana who spent 18 years of her life becoming who I am called to be to other people. MYSELF. No one else. Thank you bank teller lady for, in the ten minutes it took to make my deposit, completely blowing my mind with the simplicity of your message-- I can't let being here change who I am because I am here to be myself, grow as myself, and become a better me.
This is random, but I was on the phone with my mom outside the library, and I kept hearing this terrifying yelling sound, and I thought it was just some girls goofing around, but when I got off the phone, this girl walking to the library stopped me as i was walking and pointed to my left. I looked over and there was a fox. But not just any fox. A scary, rabid fox making scary rabid noises, and its scary rabid self was stumbling towards me. I ran into the library and warned people about it. Hahahah that was my adventure for the day. Ah...
I have homework that I'm putting off. I'm still not completely myself today, but I'm trying.