Well today was very productive! I found a ridiculously cute pair of forever 21 skinny jeans at a second hand store for $5. Whoever said second hand stores are lame were wrong! They are an answered prayer for broke people like me. So in addition to finding a spectacular pair of jeans, I got all of my homework done, finalized some college application details, went on a fantastic run, took a shower, made my lunch, and I am in bed at 10:48 pm. I think this may be a record for me... Now watch me not be able to get out of bed tomorrow morning. Oh, it would happen to me. Anyway, Im kind of proud of how successful my day was. Now back to another week of academic hell. Whoever came up with this curriculum clearly did not have to experience it. ulg.

So I took the ACT this morning and I'm so glad it's over! It wasn't to hard, it just took FOREVER! I had like half the science section left when the proctor called time, so for the first time ever, I was one of those kids frantically scrambling to fill in as many random bubbles as I could. It was awesome. I had a soccer game right after that and we owned, it was great. Now Notre Dame is playing Michigan and we're 3 points ahead and im freaking out!! I need notre dame to win! goo team!

I really should be sleeping right now. i'm taking the ACT tomorrow and guess what? I didn't study! I had no clue that ACT online offered practice questions free... great job, Mary. Wow I'm awesome at life sometimes. But oh well, God loves me right? Maybe I'll do better than the crappy SAT scores I have now. Ugh... not looking froward to the alarm going off in the morning. For all of you [actually none of you] who are reading this, I hope one senior in high school knows that I feel their pain-- serious sleep lackage mixed with double the usual amounts of caffeine make a friday at school feel like Ash Wednesday-- cloudy, always depressing, and the longest day ever. Good night world.

a summer night alone.

The air around me is a dusty haze
of purple and blue
And the sky is smeared with the sun's ink
as it is pierced by the sharp horizon
while the oozing sun slides under the water's edge.

Distant whitecaps are barely visible breaking against
the faint glow of a waning dusk.
Knees at my chest I am perched on the beach
as the surf crawls up and flirts with my toes.

Hearing only the gentle pulse of the melodic tide
The world promises to keep my dearest thoughts a secret.
As the darkness cloaks about me and the salt wind kisses my cheek
The stars puncture their dark canvas and offer me a dream.

Charade

Looking for the red in white
Falsity and impropriety concealed
in alabaster innocence.
Like spilled sugar on smooth tables,
the mess eludes itself in sweetness.
Culpability assumes a facade of naiveté
Veracity becomes something pretentious and discarded.
Erratic earth, absurd man
Integrity is obsolete and lost
in florid shades of white.

The Call

I cannot fashion my own sunlight

I cannot grasp the wind with my hands

or hold the finger of my shadow

But light beams carry God,

the sky cradles God, and the trees bend for God.

I cannot feel the moon move the tide

I cannot see the thunder

But the skies cry for God, the ground thirsts for God,

and the waves break for God.

I cannot trace the lines in God's palm with my fingers

I cannot feel the gates of Heaven

But God's love is my life, God's will is that I live it,

and I am the Call of God.

ashtray lies

ashtrays and empty promises
dictate your means,
and your ends sprawl in piles of ash and rueful thoughts.

gunshot words and a knife sharp tongue,
you can't help stoking your own fire
with apathetic shrugs and whiskey caps.

the smoke on your breath gives atmosphere
to your crooked demeanor, and your
glassy eyes lie behind a filmy ashtray green.