Hello, sunny Tuesday. You're lovely, nonchalant and whimsical. It's one of those days that the sun has a mirror effect on the trees, all shiny and dazzling. I'd like it to be September always.
Quick life update: I will be starting a 3 week CNA [Certified Nursing Assistant] training program this coming Monday. The gist of it is this: One week of classes, two weeks of clinicals. After those 3 weeks, I will take a state-certified exam in two portions, and if I pass, I'm certified! Ta-da! I'm pretty excited to start this chapter of my life. What's funny is that I feel like I've been waiting forever to get my foot in the nursing door, and ultimately made this simple choice to be a CNA before finishing my RN degree. Funny how life twists your arm sometimes. Anyway, I'm so ready for what will be a very scrub-clad existence.
As for the title of this post, I've decided to try and do at least a weekly "ABC list of things to be grateful for." My challenge will be not to repeat my list items. Here goes.
A: Autumn. It's so lovely.
B: Ball-point pens.
C: Chapstick.
D: Driving.
E: Eating.
F: Family [original, I know]
G: God.
H: Highway sunrises.
I: Internet
J: Joy
K: Koala bear hugs from babies
L: Lancelot
M: Marlboro
N: Novels
O: Overcoming Obstacles [do I get 2 points for this one?]
P: Paper
Q: Questions that make me think
R: Reading
S: Stationary
T: Talking
U: Underwear [I mean, right?]
V: Very awesome life
W: Wine
X: sorry, x-rays, I don't like you, but you're the only X I can think of right now.
Y: Youth
Z: Zzz's
Okay, that may have been very lame, but at least I did it! I'm sure my lists will improve as time goes on. With the danger of letting myself start a long ramble, I think I'll leave this post be. I'm glad I'm Tuesdaying happily.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Monday, September 2, 2013
New Leaf
It's been a while, little blog.
I'm going to start trying to post more frequently, if only because it forces me to organize my thoughts.
Life has been a medley of ups and owns as of late. Twinges of joy are starting to abound as my sister's wedding is quite swiftly approaching. Saturday is the day!!! I am the maid of honor and have still not finished my toast for the reception. I don't want it to be the quintessential corny, overly-sentimental memoir of our sister-ness, but I also don't want it to be too short and lame. Lord help me achieve a happy medium.
My mom is working like a fiend to wrap up the millions of wedding details that cease to dissipate. I'm so proud of her. She works so hard and composes herself so gracefully. How lucky am I to have a mom like that?! My cup runneth over. Both my parents just astound me. They are such champions for their children. They'd walk through fire for each one of us. I love them so much.
Spiritually, I'm trying to mend myself. I've gone through a couple vicious spiritual "winters" and emerged from each better in some respects and worse in others. I am fiercely trying to turn over a new leaf in these terms.
Frequent the sacrament of Confession
Commit to daily prayer
Attend Mass like I mean it
Seek wholesome friendships and relationships
Be honest with myself
Discern
Prioritize
These are heavy to-do items of mine, but I'm determined to commit. To live them, to think about them often, to let them shape my actions and conversations. I don't love myself right now, and this has got to change. How can you expect to be loved, and I mean truly loved and appreciated by others if you don't first love and appreciate where your life is headed and love and appreciate yourself. I guess those two go hand in hand. If you don't love yourself. you'll make decisions that reflect lack of self-respect. In turn, you tangle yourself in webs that you never foresaw, but in turn have to address. Addressing those are no fun. Albeit, you learn. My God, do you learn. [Just fyi, I derived that statement from C.S. Lewis, so I felt okay using God's name that way.] But isn't it better to let "learning" lie where it may, and let God take over? Why is it so hard for me to let go of emotion and let God step in and be my autopilot? I guess it's being human, isn't it? God gave and entrusted us with free will. I mean, I truly believe that it's one of the inexplicable beauties of being human. But it entails that at any given moment, we are at liberty to choose. How scary is that? Some people latch onto that aspect of humanity as an absurd and twisted freedom, but they don't realize that they morph it into a cage they've made for themselves. Choice is a gritty affair. It is not to be abused, yet it always is. It's why sin exists, and it's why everyone has emotion and stress and terror and fear and pain. I guess I just hope that I can steer myself away from choices that create cages. One thing I am undoubtedly certain of is this: choices made through prayer and the power and guidance of the Holy Spirit can only lead to perfect freedom. Perfect in its most lovely, naked definition. One of the definitions of "perfect" is "complete." In my opinion, no one can be truly complete if they don't live in the Lord. This is why my aforesaid "to-do" list is so important. I crave freedom in the Lord.
It's late, and that's more philosophizing than I've done in a long time. But I'm glad I did. I'm going to post more soon. Not that anyone reads this, but maybe a few do. Regardless, I'll continue my thought-vomit soon, I think.
I can't believe I ended that paragraph with the word vomit. Ew.
I'm going to start trying to post more frequently, if only because it forces me to organize my thoughts.
Life has been a medley of ups and owns as of late. Twinges of joy are starting to abound as my sister's wedding is quite swiftly approaching. Saturday is the day!!! I am the maid of honor and have still not finished my toast for the reception. I don't want it to be the quintessential corny, overly-sentimental memoir of our sister-ness, but I also don't want it to be too short and lame. Lord help me achieve a happy medium.
My mom is working like a fiend to wrap up the millions of wedding details that cease to dissipate. I'm so proud of her. She works so hard and composes herself so gracefully. How lucky am I to have a mom like that?! My cup runneth over. Both my parents just astound me. They are such champions for their children. They'd walk through fire for each one of us. I love them so much.
Spiritually, I'm trying to mend myself. I've gone through a couple vicious spiritual "winters" and emerged from each better in some respects and worse in others. I am fiercely trying to turn over a new leaf in these terms.
Frequent the sacrament of Confession
Commit to daily prayer
Attend Mass like I mean it
Seek wholesome friendships and relationships
Be honest with myself
Discern
Prioritize
These are heavy to-do items of mine, but I'm determined to commit. To live them, to think about them often, to let them shape my actions and conversations. I don't love myself right now, and this has got to change. How can you expect to be loved, and I mean truly loved and appreciated by others if you don't first love and appreciate where your life is headed and love and appreciate yourself. I guess those two go hand in hand. If you don't love yourself. you'll make decisions that reflect lack of self-respect. In turn, you tangle yourself in webs that you never foresaw, but in turn have to address. Addressing those are no fun. Albeit, you learn. My God, do you learn. [Just fyi, I derived that statement from C.S. Lewis, so I felt okay using God's name that way.] But isn't it better to let "learning" lie where it may, and let God take over? Why is it so hard for me to let go of emotion and let God step in and be my autopilot? I guess it's being human, isn't it? God gave and entrusted us with free will. I mean, I truly believe that it's one of the inexplicable beauties of being human. But it entails that at any given moment, we are at liberty to choose. How scary is that? Some people latch onto that aspect of humanity as an absurd and twisted freedom, but they don't realize that they morph it into a cage they've made for themselves. Choice is a gritty affair. It is not to be abused, yet it always is. It's why sin exists, and it's why everyone has emotion and stress and terror and fear and pain. I guess I just hope that I can steer myself away from choices that create cages. One thing I am undoubtedly certain of is this: choices made through prayer and the power and guidance of the Holy Spirit can only lead to perfect freedom. Perfect in its most lovely, naked definition. One of the definitions of "perfect" is "complete." In my opinion, no one can be truly complete if they don't live in the Lord. This is why my aforesaid "to-do" list is so important. I crave freedom in the Lord.
It's late, and that's more philosophizing than I've done in a long time. But I'm glad I did. I'm going to post more soon. Not that anyone reads this, but maybe a few do. Regardless, I'll continue my thought-vomit soon, I think.
I can't believe I ended that paragraph with the word vomit. Ew.
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